Thriving Mindfully

Category: Man’s search for meaning (Page 8 of 10)

How to open up your heart

I had the fortune of volunteering at  ‘Mindful Farm’, a little community nestled among hillocks in North Chiang Mai, Thailand.

One of the things I liked most about being there was the nutritious breakfast we used to eat, seated on the floor, in complete silence, mindfully.

After breakfast, one of us would read a little story about mindfulness in daily life to everyone else. The founder, Pi Nan, had a wonderful collection of stories to be read out loud every morning.

On a particular morning, my friend Alice was reading out a story. She read the story with such an endearing cadence that all of us just wanted to keep on listening. Giving space and emphasis as it deemed fit, she beckoned us all on a journey, like Pied Piper would with his pipe.
After she finished reading the story, we all were secretly wishing that she kept on reading !

We got up from our places and continued on to work on the farm.
While we were busy working, I took a moment to compliment her about the way she read the story.

‘Alice, how did you learn to read like that?’

‘Ah, did you enjoy it?’ she asked.

‘Yes, indeed. It was read with such empathy and emotion. I felt as if I was a kid in a nursery and my teacher was reading a gripping little tale to me.’

‘Well, I am a teacher back in Myanmar. I teach kids. I have to be able to read engagingly, don’t I?’

‘Ah, that explains it!’

‘You know, I feel that we assume that we no longer need to be read to once we learn how to read. But isn’t it a joy to be be listening to a story read with the right emotion and flow?’

‘By all means !’ I assented.

And we carried on our work in the little patch of the garden.

Yesterday, my friend’s father and I sat down to share time and space. I narrated a short story to him I had written a few days ago. He recited a few of the couplets he had composed.
He had such joy in his spirit when he recited his own poetry composed in an agreeable melody.

Once he was done reciting he spoke,

‘You know, my wife has insomnia. When she cannot fall asleep at night, I sing my poetry as a lullaby to her. Before she knows, she falls asleep like a content baby.’

‘How do you think that works Uncle?’ I asked.

‘You know, I think we all feel that only little babies need lullabies to fall asleep. But, we could all use a lullaby in our life.’

Smiling gently to his wise observation, we enjoyed the evening breeze.

These two experiences with Alice and my friend’s father got me thinking about the things we do away with as we grow up.

Most experiences we consider so precious as kids are deemed to be childish.

Who doesn’t remember sleeping to a lullaby? Or a short story performed by Granny in the dark theatre of the night, that soothed us into a dream filled sleep?
The caressing on our ruffled hair by Mom, when we were down with fever? Her peculiar scent that made you feel you’re home in her arms?

As we grow up we do not let these experiences into our lives. We dare not to sleep in our mother’s lap, rationalizing our fear, fooling ourselves out of what we might truly need.

After an age, subconsciously we seek the same feelings as we did as a child, from a partner.

Yes, we need to listen to someone with deep anticipation and intent, just how we used to listen to those childhood stories.
We need to listen to them whisper in our ear, to lead us to a sound sleep, just how a lullaby used to do back in the day. We need to be touched, lovingly, like we allowed our mother to once upon a time. We need that embracing scent of our beloved, to feel home, no matter where we are, just like our mother’s scent made us feel.

Our adulthood comes with a baggage. The inertia of all those walls that we build between us and our guileless heart.
Our heart was open to love as children.
But as we grew up, we even started feeling awkward when embracing our own parents, something that used to be so natural !
How is this growth in any sense of the word?

Sometimes, growth means to retreat.
Retreat to a state of pure being,
Of having an open heart,
An all embracing soul,
That touches and let’s itself be touched.
That seeks out an embrace,a lullaby, a story, the scent of home…

 

 

A Sparrow and Nostalgia

It was my first day in Thailand. I was sitting in a nondescript street food shop in Bangkok.

Absolutely overwhelmed by the gush of novelty that my senses were bombarded with within hours of arrival, I sat in deep wonder.
Every frame of my vision was a new movie. Towering skyscrapers, the plentitude of seven eleven shops, a pool of people from a different race altogether, zipping miniature motorbikes, tuk tuks and takeaway shops thronging the streets, a bright blue sky painted in between the parallel stretch of towers…

The street had a a whirlpool of odours too. Of colognes that promise proximity, of grilling chicken wings on a charcoal fire, of freshly cut pineapple, of a soupy stock bubbling at a noodle shack, of the moistness in the air, of air conditioning and of a plentitude of people…
It was a kaleidoscopic joyride of novelty for these two senses,
Of sight and smell.

But at one particular moment, in a sudden flash, I felt as if I was right at home. I felt like a six year old, absolutely cosy in a home environment. I wondered why I felt like that.

Soon, a little bird came a rested itself right next to my bicycle. And it let out a soft chirrup.

That was it.
That was the moment.
I felt completely drenched in nostalgia of childhood. All the haze of history cleared up with the coo of the little bird.
You know what bird it was?

A little sparrow.

Most young adults in India have grown alongside the song of the sparrow. But a decade ago, their numbers started dwindling, and as of now, spotting a sparrow is a rarity.
But in Thailand, sparrows are thriving. Everywhere I went, they had a troop posted, for me to feel safe and at home.
I was a child, all throughout my journey.

I have pictures in albums that have tried to capture my childhood best. And I have access to them as I wish. It is great to be able to see what you looked like and the experiences you went through as a child through photographs. But after a point, as we’ve come back to them so many times, we know exactly what to expect. The nostalgia, the memories and pretty much like a re-run of your favourite show. Nothing changes,
you reminisce the same glorious days and feel happy about it.

But in the decade I grew up in, capturing sound was neither a mainstream technology or the preferred way to capture memories. The sound of our childhood echoes in a deep cavern in our heart. While being inside of us, it is still the most inaccessible place in the whole wide world.
Is there a way I can hear the voices of me and my friends playing together as kids?
Sadly, no.

But, sometimes you find yourself right inside that deep cavern in your heart, one you had absolutely forgotten about, unlocked by the spell of a little bird.

The sparrow brought me back my childhood, when I least expected it, in a land I had never been to before.

Oh the power of unsolicited nostalgia.!
It is the closest one can get to a time machine.

This experience also got me thinking about the way we capture our memories in the present day and age. We are obsessed with clicking images, for it has never been as easy in history. We have a stream of visual information chroniced in our memory cards.
How much of it is imprinted in our memory is another question.

A lost phone, a corrupted memory card, wipes out all the memories we thought we had wrestled from an inaccessible past. Or even while we have all the pictures that we so avidly click, how many of us go back and revisit them ?

Clicking pictures and shooting videos has become an instinct, a reflex of sort.
We have stronger memory cards but our memory weakens as a result.

It is time to reimagine how we capture our memories.

Maybe clicking less and looking more closely captures a memory best.
A memory is an abstraction of things that you cannot individually piece together.

A digital picture of a pajama party in college captures an image.
But does it capture the reverb in the room, the crisp of the chips, the drops of a leaky faucet, the leering orange light of the lamppost, the smell of feet, the feel of the fabric, the warmth in the comfortable touch of friends, the grain of wood, the roaring flame of a bonfire,
the howl of an owl seeking a mate at midnight….?

Sometimes a memory is best captured when hand-picked ,
experienced element after element, that makes for the collective feeling of happiness at that moment.

So, the next time you find a moment worth capturing, fight the urge to just click a picture.

Meditate over the moment,
Engage all you senses,
Mindfully.

For you are collecting bits of nostalgia of the future, to be safely put away in that deep cavern in your heart.

And the more you do this, the more unsolicited nostalgia you will find in life, in unexpected places,
Even in the gentle coo of a canary,
Or in the howl of an owl at midnight.

I have a little sparrow in my heart. And it knows all my secrets.

I wish you luck, in finding the bird that holds the spell to the deep cavern in your heart,
That leads you to,
the reveire of your childhood.

 

 

Choosing the right path

I was due to leave Thailand in a couple of days. Wondering how to get my bicycle packed in a case, I looked around for a bike shop that could help me.
Fortunately, I found a bike shop, ‘Bok Bok Bike’ run by a kind gentleman named Ma.

I went in to be greeted by his warm, welcoming smile. I felt as if I had arrived at the right place.
I asked him if he could help me get a cardboard casing for packing my bike for the flight back home.
He readily agreed and said I could come on the day I had my flight and pack it up the way I wished.
I felt relieved on hearing his offer.
I asked him for the best way to get the bicycle and my luggage to the airport. He got wondering. He seemed to be thinking of ways I could transport my bike. He suggested that I could book a big cab to the airport.
The following day I reached his shop at 2pm. The box was already waiting for me inside. He helped me pack up my bicycle in the best manner possible.

I asked him what I owed him for his help. He smiled, just the way he did the first time we met.

‘It is free for you. Enjoy your ride back home!’

And I knew I could never make an even offer with money.

‘Ma, can you help me book a cab?’ I asked.

Oh, one of my friends stays close to the airport. He will be visiting me in the evening.
You can go with him to the airport in his pickup truck. Just pay for the toll.

You’ll save time and money.’

At that moment I felt grateful and helpless at the same time. Grateful for him abundant kindness and helpless for I could think of no way to make up for his help on an immediate basis.

I rushed to my bag and took out my Polaroid camera.

Ma, I have a little project I wish to share with you. I click pictures for all the kind and helpful people I meet on my journey.

Can I click a picture for you?’

He readily agreed and I clicked a candid picture for him in his shop.
I hugged him goodbye with sincere hope of meeting him in India when he bicycles here on a tour.

Today, I reached Kolkata, India.
Here, I am staying with my childhood friend’s family.
I had issues with my SIM card not being active when I came back to India. My friend’s father sent me with his driver to the mobile store to get my sim reactivated. The driver, Ratanjeet, a chatty Bengali folk made good conversation all throughout our ride to the store.
He helped me communicate with the mobile store staff in Bengali.
We were told that the SIM will be activated only 48 hours later.
As we were leaving the shop Ratanjeet asked me,

Sir, it would be so much trouble to not have a phone for two days.
We can get a new SIM for you in my name. You can use it for two days and then give it to me when you leave.
I’ll use it later as needed.’

I was pleasantly surprised by his eagerness to find a solution.

Thank you so much Ratanjeet, but I think it will be okay for me to not have a number for a couple of days. ‘

In the evening, I sat back and wondered about these two incidents that happened with a span of 24 hours in two different countries.
Two complete strangers went out of their way to help me in the best manner possible. In fact, it wasn’t even about me. I am sure they would have gone out of their way to help someone they thought they could help.

Then I realised,
These kind humans,
are not going out of their way at all.

Helping people in need, is the only right way in their eyes.

We often hear elders tell us to choose the correct path in our life. After meeting these two gentlemen, I am convinced that the correct way,
The noble path,
Is one where there are avenues to help others.

Grateful for the profound lessons my friends Ma and Ratanjeet introduced me to,
I too am enthusiastic to join their tribe,
Of kind strangers,
On the noble path,
Of helping people with an open heart.

The seed we are all sowing…

Each tiny seed has a mighty tree waiting inside it.
A single seed being a microcosm of all of what the tree it came from is like.
Many seeds,
Many trees,
The possibility of a thriving forest!

Now, consider this.

Each of your actions is your own seed,
Your own karmic fingerprint.
Each little action is a microcosm of all you are, all your future could be.
Many actions,
Many stories,
The possibility of a thriving life!

Once you realise this,
The smallest of actions can only be done with greater love.
Being responsible at every moment will become second nature.

And each of the seeds we plant,
Each of our little actions,
Will manifest into its highest possible expression.

We can start small.
How about listening to someone with complete attention?
Or keeping an organised living space?
Or smiling with an open heart?
Or playing and learning from children?

Little steps.
Little actions.
With a little smile throughout,
We’re planting a forest of the future after all !

May it thrive !
Realising all of its expression.

Let us begin my friend.
Let us begin.

My new Thai name!

Hello…Sunny….
me…near park…
you go here. Okay?
said Lucky , maybe in her first conversation in English over a phone.

Okay, Lucky. You wait for me.
I come to you.

Chai, chai (Yes, Yes in Thai)’

And I started to ride around the park trying to spot my friend Lucky and her husband Pravee. In case you’re wondering, Sunny is my Thai name which this lovely couple gave me, since it was difficult for them to pronounce my real name!
After a five minute search, we spotted each other. I crossed the road and went to see them. There was such excitement in our spirit to be meeting each other again. But we did not have a common language to communicate in!
Like overjoyed kids we opened our hearts and smiled ear to ear as we greeted each other.

We put my bicycle at the back of their pick-up truck. I went inside and sat on the rear seat.
What a joyride it was for the next three hours !
We managed to communicate using different aids. Sign language, English- Thai translator, exaggerated expressions and of course, unbridled laughter when we would fail to understand a word of what the other person was saying.

There was a childlike innocence in their demeanor. Lucky had a book called, ‘Working conversation to perfect your English -Thai Edition’ which she routinely referred to for asking questions.
The excitement and enthusiasm this couple shared despite the language barrier was adorable to witness.

After an intimate tour of Bangkok, they dropped me back home. They had a long conversation with a chatty watchman which had the word ‘India India’ in almost every other sentence. They would point at me lovingly all throughout their talk.

Okay Sunny, Goodbye.
See you India’

Yes, In India, you stay my home Okay?’

‘Okay Okay!’

They left shortly afterwards. I waved them goodbye till they were beyond sight.

I had met this couple by accident at a bicycle rally in South Thailand. And we had exchanged our contacts.
They had so much love in their heart that they wanted to see me again just to show me around. They didn’t speak English and communication was an issue.
But their alacrity to make a new friend was so sincere that nothing could come in the way.

They gave so much love and energy that I came to believe, I was Sunny !
I would happily identify myself with that name.

Beyond names,
beyond languages,
beyond all barriers,
Is the language of the heart.
Once you communicate from there,
You will find a deep connection no matter what.
My cheeks hurt by smiling so much all throughout the day in their company.

With a new name,
new friends,
And with the promise of keeping an childlike heart,
I assure myself,
To carry the spirit of friendship on and on.

The wisdom of a Tree

I was riding my bicycle merrily in a lush park in Bangkok. In an upbeat mood, I started to hum my favourite songs while breezing through a tunnel of trees.
I looked around at the trees and wondered,
‘ I wish the trees could also move,
I wish they could sing and dance when happy !’

I stopped under a mighty Peepal Tree and rested myself against its bark.

‘Why do you seem so low all of a sudden my friend?’ asked the tree, swaying to the wind.

‘Oh Mr. Tree, I wish you could also sing and dance. Travel freely and enjoy looking at the world beyond your vistas.
While I am grateful I can sing, and dance and travel around, I feel bad that you cannot.’

‘My friend, Thanks for your concern.
You are right. I cannot sing, or dance or travel freely around the world.
But I choose to not feel sad about it.
Instead, I grow with complete devotion and faith in my ability, in the universe.
You know what happens when you do that?’

‘What?’ I inquired.

‘ By growing with all my creative energy, a voiceless tree like me becomes an arena from where the birds choose to sing with all their heart every morning.
Yes, I do not have a song to sing,
But I foster so many mellifluous singers in my canopy!

I cannot travel. But when a traveller spots me from afar, he is brim with hope. He gets shade and shelter in my shadow.
Yes, I cannot travel,
But I foster faith in travellers to keep travelling, assuring that trees will provide a resting space once they’re tired.

I do no let my limitations bog me down.
I stay true to my own nature, grow with all my heart, and I foster people to do things that I myself am not able to.’

With the blowing wind, the birds sang, assenting to the wisdom the tree shared.
Resting in the tree’s cool shade,
I made a little choice in my heart,

To choose to sing when I can.
And if I cannot,
I should become the arena that fosters singing.
The stage that enables others to thrive.

Swaying gently,
The tree flirts with the wind.

No wonder, Buddha got enlightenment while meditating under a Peepal tree !

Continue reading

When you feel you are not good enough…

‘Am I good enough?’
‘You know,
Maybe I’m not good enough.’
‘Maybe I should not pursue this at all. There are people out there who are way better than I am.’

Sounds familiar?

In life, we often find our self in situations when we question our ability. It happens way more to people who consider themself an artist.

While it is easy to bow out and not pursue something that you’re involved in, it is seldom the best choice one can make.

Before making a decision to quit anything that you’re currently pursuing ask yourself,
What kept me involved with this activity/art for such a long time?
Does my growth in this field matter to me?

If you hear a voice staying ,
Yes! My growth in this field matters to me,
Ask yourself,

How is the decision to quit going to take me any closer to the growth that matters to me so much?

As humans, we are prone to make irrational and impulsive decisions.
But when you question your own ability at an art form, and you are close to quitting, thinking there are people way better than you out there and you must not continue,
Think about,

What led you so far into it?
Does your growth matter to you?
Does quitting make you any better?

Once you can answer these questions with conviction, making a decision becomes much easier.

Most likely you will continue with the art form and work hard at it.

You are not the only one who loses faith in himself from time to time. Even the best of us fall for this trap.

The ones who march on despite this, are the ones who get better.

Don’t quit yet.

Comparison never fosters art.

I’m reminded of a story about a father and son looking at two mango saplings in their garden.
The son asks,
‘Which one of the two will bear more fruit Daddy?’
The father smiles and answers,
‘It is too early to tell son,
Let me just say,
they’re both growing !’

We’re all growing, at our own pace. And we shall all bear fruit in our own reality , in our own capacity.

No tree ever curtails its own creative expression. Why should you?

March on.
For your life is,
a masterpiece in progress…

Buddha behind the wheels

Riding on the highways can be tricky at times. As a cyclist, I have to be extremely careful about the traffic etiquette. I need to be on the leftmost lane all the time and give way to vehicles speeding past me in the other lanes.
While it has been pleasant bicycling in Thailand, today I was made to realise how particular I have to be while changing lanes.
In the afternoon, a particular gentleman in a pick up truck drove by quite close to me within a hair’s distance while taking a free left turn.
Thankful of being left unscathed, I wondered how I could ride better.

I have been avoiding riding at night since I do not have enough lights to keep me visible from afar.
I thought maybe my bicycle should have indicator lights!
I kept pedalling on dreaming about this.

Until I saw another gentleman standing near his pickup truck near a temple on the highway. I guess he had just come out of the temple after offering alms to the monks.
It was a strange sight to spot a white-western gentleman in rural Thailand.

I slowed down a bit as I approached him.

He handed a packet to me which I presumed had food.

He quickly got in his truck and left. He honked twice to wish goodbye as he drove past.

In some time I stopped to rest. I was hungry and hoping to eat what he might have given me in the packet.
Do you know what I found in the packet?
To my surprise,
I found a set of bike lights !

It seemed like such a spooky coincidence. I met a man for ten seconds on the highway. Without even exchanging any pleasantries, he offered me something that I might be needing the most and left without a trace.

I affixed the light he gave me for the bike, still blown away by the turn of events.

This gentleman didn’t only give me lights for my bike,
He enlightened me in many ways.
He showed me the light towards being kind for the sake of kindness.
To help without even wishing to be remembered.
To represent the undeniable light that shines in us all.

He must be God.
Or at least his gesture,
Decidedly Divine.

Brim with the spirit of embracing kindness as a way of life,
I pedal on…

 

Art, Man and Motherhood

As a kid, my mind was always full of questions. I clearly remember one question that kept looming in my mind.
As a kid I used to feel,
‘Why can only women become mothers?’
‘Men should also be able to give birth !’

It is funny indeed to think about it now.
But that was the first time I felt unequal to women in some sense.
Over time, I realized how naturally empowered women are !

Recently a friend shared how she is sometimes frustrated when she has to go through the agony of getting periods every month.

I could only share,
‘But you are the source of all creation! You have the ability to support a life inside your body. To me you are the most powerful force in the world that I know.
This recurring inconvenience is nothing as compared to the gift of creation you possess!’

Once I said this, the old question I used to have as a child came back to me.

‘Why can’t men give birth?’

Then I thought,
Maybe a man can’t nourish a child like woman. But he still has the choice to create art.
The two are quite alike!

Whenever we create a piece of art, we feel as if it is a part of us.
It is our baby so to say.
Anyone who has ever created art would relate to it. It could be an old poem you’d written that you still remember, or a song that you’d composed when you’d fallen in love for the first time, that day when you baked your first cake or knit those socks for your newborn niece…
It could scale up to more serious pursuits in art, depending on how much it means to you.

Through art, a man gets access to motherhood.
The more lovingly you create, the more the work of art feels like an extension of yourself.
And just how a well brought up child takes care of his parents when they need him,
The art you create will heal you as you’re at it, and bring you joy, satisfaction and recognition as it ages with you.

A man can be a mother, repeatedly, through his whole life. He has the liberty to be a better mother as he understands and evolves with the process of creation.
Biological motherhood doesn’t offer this latitude!
Women are lucky indeed, for they can create babies and of course, art!

Now, I believe I can give birth.
With my art!

And just how important making babies is for perpetuation of our species,
Just as important is art, in revealing what the universe expresses,
Through the fascinating experience,
Of being human.

To our collective experience of the joy of motherhood.

Make art ! 🙂

On making better decisions

Quite often, we feel overwhelmed by the prospect of making a big decision. One that could steer the course of our life in future. Fearing making the wrong choice, we find ourself not making a decision for as long as possible.
Most likely, the decision pertains to either

A) Starting something new, a fresh avenue in life

OR

B) Quitting something that we were involved in for long in the past.

Considering the gravity of the consequences of making the wrong decision, we often procrastinate for far too long. But the indecision doesn’t serve us.

An easy way around this is to sincerely ask yourself the following two questions.

A) Do I have enough love for what I am getting myself into?

B) Is there a prospect to learn and grow ?

OR

If the decision is about quitting something old, ask yourself,

A) Do I have enough love left for what/ who I’ve been involved with?

B) Does the opportunity to learn and grow still seem promising?

If you have enough love to get involved with something new and there are avenues to learn and grow,
By all means you should decide to go for it.
And if you find yourself not passionate about what you were involved with and it doesn’t hold the promise of learning and growing, even if it is hard to do so,
Quit it.

Do not fear making the wrong decision. Sometimes choosing to making a decision is in itself, the best decision one could make.
For regardless of whether it is right or wrong, there is a prospect of learning and growing.

Trust your instincts and tread.
Making the decision itself is the way forward.

To more love and learning in your life.
To boundless beautiful possibilities.

 

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