Thriving Mindfully

Category: Mindfulness (Page 3 of 4)

On realising the ideal state of being

‘I want to bicycle from India to Hongkong to see my son’ shared Nirupama, a 71 years young bicyclist I met in Pune.

As lofty as her dream sounded to either of us, I was sure she would be on this dream trip very soon.
She had shared stories about her bicycle trips to Laddakh, Kanniyakumari among other places in India.
Having started bicycling after retiring from work at the age of 60, she kept on challenging herself and went past barriers even young adults wouldn’t dare dream to.

I saw the apprehension in her eyes while she shared her dream, wondering if she could go bicycling across countries to see her son.

I wanted to make her believe that she could do it.
I took out my phone and showed her a route she could take to reach Hongkong starting from Bangkok.

Her eyes lit up like a chiselled diamond.

And I am sure, as I write this, she’s busy back home, thinking of ways to make this trip happen.

What an inspiration she is !

This encounter reminded me of two other elderly friends I had met in Thailand.
One of them by the name of Phulong, 72, who wants to bicycle all around Thailand on his own.
I’m sure he’s biking around in some part of Thailand as I write this.

The other friend, Eugene, 72, an Irishman I had met at a hostel, wished to sail to India on his Yacht.
In fact, that what was he was going to start doing the moment he was back home.
Maybe he’s fixing up his Yacth as you’re reading this.

Meeting such ambitious and proactive elderly folk left me humbled.
I wondered how they could exist in such a state of being.

The answer I found was on the lines of their perception and interaction with two factors :

a) Time

b) Mindspace.

The elderly have only a decade
or so of life left to make something of. Yet, they have the a lot of time to reflect, imagine and think of ways to achieve a distant dream. The awareness of the finitude of their life only helps them to attribute more value to the little time they have on earth.

Also, the mindspace of ‘It is Now or Never’ is most obvious at their age. They are not afraid of anything that used to hold them back when they were young adults. They are in a position to imagine without inhibition.

I couldn’t help but draw a parallel between the relationship kids have with time and mindspace vis-a-vis the elderly.

While it is finitude that helps the elderly imagine and act without inhibition, it is the apparent infinitude, a timelessness in which the imaginative spirit of a child thrives.

A child has no fear of dreaming or acting on its dreams. If a child wants to be a doctor, he would just put a dummy stethoscope around it’s neck, wear the elder siblings oversized shirt and he’s ready to treat anyone and everyone in sight.
A child imagines and acts in the best of its capacity.

As young adults, what can we learn from the elderly and kids about ambition, imagination and taking action?

We live in an age where we have neither the time nor the mindspace to imagine and act on our dreams.
Aren’t most of us busy with something or the other that commands all of our immediate attention?

And sadly, we have become comfortable with devoting time to things that we are asked to do, without really thinking if it truly matters to us in the long run.

Part of the reason is because we dwell in the dangerous domain in our understanding of time,
in between finitude and infinitude.

If we really feel a sense of timelessness as kids, we would truly be present in each moment and be able to imagine the way we must.
At the same time, if we truly understand the finitude, the fragility of life, as the elderly do, we would, at all times, act responsibly and do things that matter to us.

Would it not be the best way to exist,
To live with complete understanding of our relationship with time and mindspace?
To understand finitude and infinity and let the wagon of our lives soar on the twin rails of imagination and action ?

If we choose to live with this awareness,
Could life ever be little?

The Power of Everyday – December 2018

The Power of Everyday challenge is back!

I have always believed that consistent, deliberate practice is the most logical way to progress.
While we all aspire to become better versions of our self, often we lack the structure and clarity to pave our way to betterment.

The Power of Everyday is a simple task based project that will help anyone looking for improvement.

The rule is simple.

Pick out one task that you promise to do every single day of this month.

It could a very simple task.
Depending on the area which you want to improve in, pick a small achievable task that could be repeated every day in December.

Every Saturday, I shall put a blog post as a reminder so that we all stay on track.

I suggest making a little calendar like this and strike off every day on which you accomplish your daily task.

My Power of Everyday task for December 2018:

Write and Publish a blog post on every single day of the month.

Feel free to share your daily task in the comments below.

Let’s keep each other accountable and move into the new year with positive momentum.

We are in this together.
And off we go !

Lesson from Failure (Power of Everyday Project – July Update)

I have always been interested about the possibilities consistent practice has to offer. That is what led me to start ‘The Power of Everyday’ project where I take a few activities that matter to me and promise to do them every single day.

While I have had experiences of inconsistent practice for most of my adult life, and recently had success for a couple of months at being extremely consistent ever since I started the project,
I gradually fell back into the trap of  inconsistency in the month of July.

That explains much of my inconsistent blog publishing schedule and inactivity in daily life.
While I could reason it with the gloomy monsoon weather and a 10 day trek where I had no access to Internet or electricity, deep down I know,
excuses apart,
Plain and simple,
I did not deliver on my promises.

Here’s my performance sheet for reference :

Action based goals

1) Practise Yoga Everyday (7/31)
2) Write and Publish a blog everyday (9/31)
3) Write Haiku Everyday (11/31)

Awareness based goals

1) Posture awareness (7/31)
2) Zero waste lifestyle (24/31)
3) Celibacy (31/31)

As it is evident, apart from the last task, I did quite dismally in all the rest.

But even in failure, I had great success in learning about myself.

a) For example, while being mindful of my posture, I realised how my walking posture and foot landing habit is affecting the overall balance of my body. I had been struggling with frail balance of my body for a few years. Only when I started to  observe my body did I realise what was wrong and now I can look for ways to improve.

b) While I could not avoid packaged products entirely, I along with my friend Lee, manager to collect 5 kgs of trash all along our trek in Nepal. In the process we could understand why people need to carry package food on challenging treks just like we did.
Also, we realised that there could be ways to better the situation.
For example, with each treking permit there should be a garage bag handed out so that a trekker has an option to collect the trash he produces.

c) I also realised that writing keeps me alive, present and excited about living each day. The moment I stopped to write and share it with the world, I felt a sense of gloom dawn upon me. It was a great feeling to realise how much a particular habit mattered to my emotional well being.

4) And above all, as I wrote this post, I realise how therapeutic the process of confronting your own failure is.
I feel more accountable to you in a way.
It would be so easy to hide my shortcomings.
But that does not serve growth, neither mine nor yours.

I had a great month nevertheless, full of novel experiences like experiencing Nepal as a culture, going on my first 10 day extended trek , meeting free roaming Yaks at 4000 meters above sea level, watching a glacier turn into a might river that flowed across borders and most importantly, I got to spend time with a dear friend in nature for two weeks.

I am grateful for being able to experience these wonders of life.

For the next month,
I have only two awareness based goals for the Power of Everyday project, August Edition.

1) Stay without the internet for a month
2) Stay Celibate

As the first goal suggests, I will not be posting any new blogs in the month of August.
Still, I will be writing, reflecting and compositing more meaningful work and will share it with you when I am back online in the month of September.

I hope those of you who took a challenge for the Power of Everyday project learned something in the process. Feel free to share your reflections in the comments below.
As I mentioned earlier, there’s grace in accepting even our failures because only then do we keep your mind open for reflection and improvement.
Even if you did not keep up to your promises, reflect on why that happened and how you could perform better in future.

Also, if the project excites you, please take up a challenge for the month of August and share your learnings at the end of the month.
You can share your challenge in the comments below for the sake of accountability 🙂

Hoping to see you on September 1st with fresher perspectives.

With love,

Sreenath

The most important quality of a leader

There was a pleasant stillness in the air.

My friend Lee and I were sitting on the banks of a placid glacial lake called ‘ Tsho Rolpa’ . We had been treking uphill for the past 5 days and we’d finally reached our destination at 4550 meters above sea level, barely 5kms from the Nepal-China border.

It was the first time we had seen a glacier feed a glacial lake that in turn became the source of the mighty Rolwaling-Kosi river we were trekking on the banks of for the past few days.

As the weather turned moody we decided to walk back to the village where we were staying.
As soon as we reached back at our host’s place, Lee fell asleep right away.
I assumed that he was worn out by the long walk and needed rest.

He woke up only briefly in the evening to have dinner and disappeared in the blankets for the rest of the night.

Hoping that he would feel fine by morning, I too rested myself for the night.

The next morning, I awoke to find Lee sitting peacefully on his bed.

‘Lee, How do you feel now?’ I asked.

‘I feel so happy about what happened yesterday’ he shared with a lilting half smile on his face.

‘You mean, our journey to the lake?’

‘Yes that too. But I am happier for something else.
Do you know, I had such a severe splitting headache ever since we got back from the lake?’

‘Ah, altitude sickness is it?’ I asked.

‘Yes.
It is the first time in my life I experienced altitude sickness.
I have trekked so much all my life in Korea, led teams of upto 80 people on treks, but I have never faced this situation before.
Many people in my teams would experience health issues at high altitude but I could never help them in the best manner possible for lack of experience.
Now, that I have experienced it,
I can understand the situation of another human being who is going through altitude sickness.
Now I am in a better position to help someone in need.’

I could only nod and marvel at the beautiful way he turned a hardship into a learning experience.

‘Indeed Lee, You are in a great position to help. Now I can scale more mountains with you.
If I ever feel altitude sick,
You’ll empathise and help me out won’t you !’

His peaceful face was half lit from the sunlight infiltrating through the seive of the curtain.
He nodded.
His demeanor was placid as the lake we saw yesterday,
Holding the promise to flow like a mighty river,
Seeking to help someone in need at every moment possible.

This little interaction was a deep sermon.
I would often relate leadership with power, rank and authority.
But this warm hearted person, through his own experience,
Taught me how,
The foremost quality in a good leader,
Is Empathy.

How we are all equally rich

Over the past few months, I’ve had the fortune of travelling in three different countries. While most of my commute during the travel was on my bicycle, I also had the chance to use other modes of transport. I’ve loaded up my bicycle on trains, boats, buses and aeroplanes a few times over.

While using these other modes of transport, I’ve had the chance to observe my fellow travellers.
One thing that I found to be common among all travellers, regardless of their nationality or economic background is the humble lock they all put on their luggage.

It could be a number combination padlock, a tiny lock with a key, an airplane baggage lock tag or even just two zippers secured with a nylon string.

It does not matter if it is a high end briefcase or a tattered backpack, the owners prize the contents inside their bags equally.

For a poor woman travelling back to her village in a bus with her infant children,
The few hundred rupees she’s hidden in her bag and the measly ration of milk for the children to last on the ride is worth securing with a little lock.
To an executive travelling business class, whose briefcase is a thousand times more expensive than everything the village lady has ever owned, the bag mandates even getting a travel insurance!

But once we think beyond the monetary value of the bag and its contents, and think about the absolute value each human being attributes to their belongings,
Is the tattered bag of the village lady any less valuable than the executive’s briefcase?

Extrapolating further, think about the infants in tow of the village lady and the little children of the businessman waiting for him back home.

Is the life of one child more precious than another? Granted they have separate realities of life and in comparison have a completely different future ahead of them.
Yet, they both mean the world to either parent, don’t they?

We are all born with different privileges.
But some things are tendered equally to one and all.
We all have the ability to love,
The ability to be of help,
The ability to smile,
The ability to bring a life on earth…

All of the perceived unfairness of life is mitigated by the solemn realisation of these inherent gifts we are all have the liberty to partake.

The most precious of gifts can never be locked and secured.
It is the gift of life,
Of existence,
The time we have on earth.

A person who doesn’t know how to read the time on the clock is in fact, as rich as a person wearing an expensive watch when it comes to the time he has on the earth.

Perhaps the moment we start to live life with this realisation, in each living moment,
Each living soul will feel equally rich.

As the gift of existence,
Of time on earth,
Enables democracy over happiness to each living soul.

One of my favourite authors wrote a masterpiece of a novel when he was in Jail. Even the locks of the prison chamber had no power over the gift of existence he utilised to create a work of sublime art.
He used his freedom over time even in incarceration to add meaning to his life.

Time is the yarn we are all gifted by life,
And at each moment we are alive,
We are weaving our story,
In the tapestry of existence.

Let’s realise this gift,
And live a life full of purpose and meaning.

 

 

What writing everyday taught me about being a better person

A few days ago, one of my friends asked me a question that I had never confronted myself with.

‘How do you manage to write a blog post every day? What’s the most difficult part about it?’

I thought about it for a while. And I realised, writing a blog post is not the most difficult thing in the exercise. It is writing the first few lines of the blog post that’s most challenging. Once you’re past the first few lines, the blog post fashions itself.
All I have to do is get past the first few lines. Once I am past the inertia, it is a breeze.

The same is also true for physical activities. I remember the toughest phase of my bicycle trip to the mountains to be the first half an hour of the ride.
Once your body is warmed up, you don’t even realise you’re bicycling. The process just happens on its own.

Extrapolating further,
I wonder if the same is true for the more human qualities one wishes to embody.
We all wish to be better human beings.
We desire to be more loving, more accepting, more friendly and allow ourself to have an open heart.

But if we think of starting to embody these qualities all through our existence, the task, however desirable, seems to be far too daunting.

How do I have such an open heart full of love all through my life !’ one would wonder.

But there is a way of thinking that makes the task much easier and accessible.

Say you wish to be more compassionate and loving.
Don’t think about being compassionate and loving all through your existence.

Just start to be compassionate and loving in the present moment.

Once you are past the barricades you’ve built around your heart, the task becomes easier and but natural.

Of course, this has to be practiced every single day with solemn awareness.
Just how I choose to begin to write and get past the first few lines every single day.

Before you know you will have a continuum of existence, full of the qualities you always wished to embody.

Open your heart and ask,
What quality do I wish to imbibe.
And start.
Everyday.

You will realize your better self with every glorious sunrise.

To your undeniable growth.

 

 

Smile, will you?

I had been bicycling uphill constantly for an hour and a half. I wished to reach a village called Marhi, 40 kms uphill from Manali, India.

At one point, the elevation was too steep for me to keep the bicycle in motion. I decided to stop catch a much needed breath. My heart was racing like that of caged mice on steroids. I leaned my head down to rest it on the handlebar and slowly let my heart rate drop with each deep breath.

In this incapacitated state, I heard a voice from behind.

‘Hey, where are you coming from?’ asked a man wearing a friendly smile.

‘I have been bicycling from Delhi. Today, I wish to reach Marhi, about 30 kms up from here.’

He took a good look up and down my petite body frame.

With an equal measure of wonder and resolve, he said,
‘I own a gym back home. But I myself feel quite unfit. I used to take a car from home to the gym and then exercise hoping to lose weight.
But today, after seeing you, I promise that I will get myself a bicycle and bike to the gym everyday.
You gave me great energy !’

I wondered, how could I, being in such a beaten down, tired state, could still energise a random stranger on the road?

His gesture eased my heart. I thanked him and continued onward.

At a point where I was vulnerable, this person acknowledged my presence, my pursuit and my grit and replenished me with energy.
I realised how much a person desires to be acknowledged.

Moving on, I saw a board on the highway that grabbed my attention. It mentioned the name of the army engineer who first envisioned and surveyed the Manali-Leh highway. I felt good to know of the visionary man who dared to dream of a highway in such treacherous terrain.

Further down the road, I saw construction workers toiling away under the full sun, building a section of the highway. A few kilometers ahead, there were people laying down optical fiber cables.

And I wondered, the names of these people will never appear on any sign board saying that they helped build a highway, or they laid the cables for the high speed internet we would enjoy.
Then, at that moment, I remembered how much I’d liked being acknowledged by the gym owner in the highway.

It is such a human quality after all!

Right then, I made a decision to wave at or give a thumbs up to each person I find working on the road.
And thereafter, no construction worker was ever left without a smile.
Some of them were apprehensive to smile. That just made me realise how rarely were they even acknowledged as humans.

This experience only made me believe that we should acknowledge and celebrate these name less faceless humans who work hard in oblivion to ensure our lives run smoothly.

Next time you find someone whose work would mostly go unacknowledged, choose to just smile at them, give a thumbs up, or if you can afford the time, talk to them for a bit.

Your attention and affection are precious.
Choose to ration a little of it to people who go unnoticed.
All of sudden, the world around you will embody more love and brotherhood.

It all boils down to your choice.

Smile, will you?

 

 

On engaging your mind

We have a perception that going uphill is difficult. Trekking up a hill is always challenging isn’t it?
We have to expend a lot of energy to gain elevation.

And we think, going downhill is easy. Gravity works for us. We just have to lunge our way forward and find the ground waiting for us to land on it.

It is similar when it comes to bicyling. Going uphill is a challenge.
And going downhill is easy,
If,
If you have good brakes !

Today, I’d prepared myself mentally for an easy downhill ride. Things were going pretty smoothly and I didn’t even have to pedal to move onward.
But over time, the brakes seemed to be getting less and less efficient.
At one point, they were barely able to contain my speed downhill.

It was a matter of concern. I stopped and started again, trying to impede my pace by brushing my feet on the ground as required.    At one point, the slope was too steep for me to contain my speed.

I chose to stop and started walking with my bicycle in tow.

I thought to myself,
‘Maybe I should check a video online about how to tighten brakes.’
I switched on my phone but there was no network in the hills.

Then I wondered,
‘Maybe, I should look for a bicycle shop on the way. Until then I can push my bicycle.’

But after walking for ten minutes I thought,
‘Why can I not try to fix it myself ? Even if I go wrong, I will learn in the process. It must not be that difficult to understand the mechanism.’

I stopped walking and rested my bicycle against a wall.
After tinkering with the disc brakes for five minutes, I was able to do something that made it work.
Now, I had to learn what I did that made it work !
So I did it all over again.
Once I understood the mechanism, I did the same for the other pair of brakes.

In ten minutes, I had a bicycle with perfectly functional brakes.
The two hour walk to the city was reduced to a half an hour breeze of a ride downhill !

On the way, I tried to understand my own thought process.

First, I tried to look online, to learn how to do something virtually. (Looking outwards)

Then, when that didn’t work, I looked for someone who could do it for me, and learn by watching. (Looking around)

When that too didn’t work,
I chose to apply my own mind to it. And I learnt how to do it by experience. (Looking Inside)

I wondered,
What an upside down way of approaching a problem !
Internet has become such a convenience that we completely bypass our own mental faculty from the circuit of learning.
If we can’t learn it online, we try to learn from someone who knows it already.
All the while, the power of our seminal mind enfeebles.

Applying our own mind to a problem is the surest way to learn for life.
We need to cultivate the mindset of a pioneer, who chooses to experiment and learn form his own mistakes.
Eventually he does come up with a solution.

I feel that the best approach to learning something or finding a solution to a problem is

1) Look inward first (self -learning)
2) Then Look around (peer-learning)
3) Eventualy, Look outwards (virtual-learning)

We need to rebuilt trust with our mind’s abilities and not spoon-feed it with information.

Next time, before you search for something on google or try to learn something new online, grant yourself some time and try to understand and reason on your own.

Your mind will not fail you. It will come up with answers.
Trust your own mind.
It is a powerhouse.

On Age, Marriage and Responsibility

‘You have grown up quite too much now!’ remarked my mother over a phone call on my birthday.

‘Well yes, I have turned 28!’

‘Now it is time to be more responsible in life !’ she alluded.

‘We are not talking about marriage mom !’

Laughing at her fruitless attempt she said,
‘ But you are at the right age to take the next step in life.’

‘Will you listen to what I did today Mom before we continue further ?’

‘Yes , surely. Tell me.’

‘Yestersay, while trekking up a hill in the lower Himalayas, we noticed that there was a lot of garbage lying around everywhere on the route. It left me quite sleepless the whole night. The next morning, with our heavy backpacks and a garbage bag, we set forth to do our bit to make things better.
All throughout our 5 hour downhill journey, we knelt down and picked up as much trash as we could. In the end, my friend and I had collected a total of 5kgs of plastic from the trail.
Now, my dear mother, tell me,
Am I not taking responsibility ?’

‘ Yes, I am glad to know about how you decided to do your bit, when it was easy to just walk past and not do anything.’

‘Mom, I feel that one should not wait for an age to start taking responsibility.
I cannot promise to bring a bride home,
But I promise to be a responsible human being at every living moment.’

‘Do what makes you happy my son.’ she said encouragingly.

The conversation with my Mother on my birthday made me realise how we use an age as a benchmark to start being more responsible.
At a certain age, you should take responsibility of another person, start a family, earn a living, buy a house etc…
And most of us in the urban middle class succeed in doing all these things.

But accomplishing all these life imperatives does not necessarily mean we are being responsible.

Let me cite an example.

If one is not responsible enough to take care of his own health, exercise, eat well and sleep on time, is he in a position take care of another person?
If someone chooses to jeopardise his own health with vices and endanger his life,
Is he being responsible about the gift of life that has been bestowed upon him?

Once someone is responsible about his own health and well being, does he seek more responsibility to change things in the little world he dwells in?

Only when we start looking at the act of taking responsibility as a way of life, do we head in the direction of creating positive change both within and without.

Maybe while talking to kids, instead of saying ‘Be Careful’ we should say ‘Be Responsible’ more often.

I urge you to think about how responsible you are being about the immediate world that you interact with.
And try to be a little more participative, a little more responsible with each passing day. It should be a way of life !

Today, as I was approaching the end of the downhill trail, I saw two contrasting events.
Behind me was a group of young urban yuppies, choosing to throw wrappers on the trail.
In front of me was a group of village kids, sweeping the streets to keep the lanes litter free.

Now,
Who is older?
And who is being more responsible?

I leave you with that thought,
And the promise being responsible holds.

To a better world of our own making.

 

 

Once in a Lifetime

‘Once in a lifetime.
Once in a lifetime.’

Repeated my 72 years young friend Pholung, as we trekked up a cliff on an island off the Andaman coast in Thailand.
We were ascending to reach a spot from where we could pssiblyp see a peculiar sea creature called ‘Dugong’, also known as the sea cow.

Phulong was spirited in each moment as he took tiny steps up the cliff. I would help him out with my hand at difficult spots but for his age, he was supremely fit.

At a point on the way when we stopped to catch a breath he turned to me and said,

‘You know, I have lived in Thailand all my life, yet I never came to this island to see this beautiful creature.
Now, I realise I have limited time on earth, and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.’

‘And you are going to see a Dugong today for sure. Better late than never’, I said encouragingly.

‘Once In a lifetime.’ he kept on repeating with bountiful joy in his spirit. His eyes shone bright like an emerald in feeble daylight.

At that moment I thought to myself,

‘You know, it is quite likely this is also a once in a lifetime experience for me. Chances are slim that I will ever come to this remote island in the Andaman sea again.’

I wondered why, despite it being a once in a lifetime experience for both him and I, it held so much importance to him.
I guess, that at his age, he understands the importance of time and the finiteness of existence much better than I do.

But does one really need to get old to realise how most of the experiences we have in life are once in a life time experiences?
One does not necessarily grow older to be wiser !

Once we realise that most of the things we do as a chore might be the last time we do them, we might attribute much more value to the experience.

How many of us remember the last time we played in the school ground with our friends? Or the meal granny would cook for you whenever you visited her?
The last time you appeared for a written exam?
Or the last time you embraced a loved one you are not together with anymore?

Chances are that none of us remember the last time we did these things. Because these things became so mundane that we didn’t attribute them the value they deserved.

Had we cherished each of the above experiences with a solemn realisation that it could be the last time we experience it,
the event would have been much memorable. And you would have the same fascination and gratitude in your eyes as my friend Phulong did when we was ascending the cliff to see the Dugong.

Accept all everyday experiences with gratitude and you will make amazing memories filled with fascination and wonder.

The next time you embrace a loved one, or eat your favourite dish at home,
Gently remind yourself,

‘Once in a lifetime,
Once in a lifetime.’

To more fascination, gratitude
And light,
in your eyes.

 

 

 

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