Thriving Mindfully

Category: Personal Growth (Page 6 of 8)

Lesson from bicycling to the highest motorable road in the world

My bike ride uphill was already in its 7th hour. I was ascending towards the mighty mountain pass named ‘ Khardung La’ arguably, the highest motorable all weather road in the world.

I had reached an elevation above 5200 meters. Oxygen was scarce and I had to push my bicycle at times just so that my heart rate stayed under control.
Patiently, with all my soul, I moved on.

Past a hair pin bend, I saw a milestone:

‘Khardungla – 1km’

Excited to know that I will be at the highest motorable road in the world soon, I got on my bicycle and pedalled onward.

After 15 minutes, I, with my racing heart, finally reached the summit.

I felt an inexplicable calm at that moment.
I had anticipated that I would jump and sing after achieving such a challenging goal and crossing out one of the tasks on my Impossible list.

But I felt tranquil and meditative.

At that moment, I wondered,’Have I changed as a person because of this achievement?’

‘Am I any different at the summit as compared to who I was at the last milestone?’

To my heart, there wasn’t any difference at all between the two states of being at the two different places.

Then I extrapolated this thought further.

‘How was I any different at the last milestone as compared to the second last milestone?’

‘Extrapolating further, how was I any different at the beginning of the ride uphill as compared who I was at the summit?’

I realised that I was much stronger in my mind at the beginning than at the end.
To dare to bicycle up Khardung La is no mean feat.
Especially when you don’t know the terrain, the temperature is low, the UV rays are burning your skin and you have limited oxygen to inhale.
At the beginning of the journey my mind was steadfast.
And I made my first decision.
Of choosing the right path.

The second decision was made out for me by the road itself.
There was a milestone after every kilometre of the road, giving me constant feedback about the progress.
Even if I was moving at a measly average pace of 4.5km per hour, each milestone informed me that I was on the right path.

I realised that along with my willpower, these two decisions of choosing the right path and having milestone markers made sure I reached the summit.

Without any of the above three,

a) willpower
b) the right path
c) milestones

I would have not been able to scale the mighty Khardung La.

Drawing a parallel to how we approach a challenge in life,
We ought to have these three factors in place to achieve something.
We need to develop the willpower to persevere, we need to choose the right path and finally we need to have little milestones that reassure us of the correct direction we’re headed in.

Say, if someone has the goal to be a better artist,
He needs to

a) Show up everyday to practice his art and stay away from distractions (willpower)

b) Choose a way of life that ensures maximum learning (the right path)

c) Have an archive to see how better he is as compared to a time in past, have a mentor who could give him honest critical feedback (milestones)

If one designs a way of life based on these three simple steps,
Progress will become a way of life.
Scaling summits will become a habit.

The path sculpts a man into who he could be if he chooses to get past milestone after milestone while demonstrating the willpower to keep moving no matter what.

Coming back to the question I had posed myself earlier,

‘How was I any different at the beginning of the ride uphill as compared who I was at the summit?’

In the begining, while downhill, I had only the sight of a goal, a solitary summit I had to scale.

At the end, while at the summit, I have a vantage.
I have gained a wider panaroma, a broader worldview,
And from here,
I can choose the next summit of the many that I gained access to.

You climb up, not just to enjoy the view, but to gain a perspective,
to choose the next summit in sight,
Higher, mightier,
But never beyond
the undying spirit of human endeavour.

I wish you too choose a summit of your own to climb, and from there scale on further and gain wisdom and perspective in this elegantly revealing process.

May you realise more of who you truly are.

Crossing off an ambitious goal from my Impossible List,
I am ready to dream bigger,
Dream anew.

To the undying spirit of human endeavor.

Yours,

Sreenath

On importance of old school friendship in the age of social media

We are living in times where we dwell in two worlds at the same time. One is the real physical world, where all our interactions happen, and one is the virtual world, where we curate how we want our life to be seen as.

In the real world, a person experiences a whole range of emotions. On one hand he experiences pain, sorrow, rejection, depression, anxiety, diffidence…
On the other hand he also experiences pleasure, happiness, exuberance, emancipation and a sense of confidence.
The real world is a kaleidoscopic experience of all these myraid emotions.

But in the virtual world one dwells in, one always projects the happier state of being. All pictures shared by someone, be it of a momentous point in life to the banal selfie stream, it all has a positive connotation.
On social media, everyone is happy.
All seems to be well.

But is it?

If our life was seen only through our curated virtual identity, all of us are living an incredible life with no trace of pain or sorrow.
But deep inside, we all experience challenging emotions as much as we enjoy positive ones.

Our indulgence with social media has consumed our time and mind space which would earlier be engaged with real conversations with friends.
With friends, we would talk about what pains us and what makes us happy in the same breath.
But now we don’t have time to speak to a friend. For some reason the dopamine rush of social media validation eclipses the experience a real friendship promises.

This culture of curating a happy state of being comes at a cost. The challenging emotions like sorrow and diffidence that test our character are being avoided at all cost.
But how will one shape his character holistically if he is in such a state of avoidance ?

In life, one should always strive to have a space to speak about what pains him, what makes him sad and how lonely he feels at times.
For such a space to exist, trust is a must.
And that can only be found in the company of a trustworthy friend.

Speaking about challenging emotions brings forth clarity in one’s mind about who he is, while avoidance only enfeebles and diffuses his identity.

If you wish to have great emotional health, foster a trustworthy friendship. And share things with a friend as frequently as you share your curated happy state of being in the virtual world.
It will do wonders to your understanding of your own self.

To your wholistic growth,
To acceptance of happiness and sorrow as it comes.

 

 

On engaging your mind

We have a perception that going uphill is difficult. Trekking up a hill is always challenging isn’t it?
We have to expend a lot of energy to gain elevation.

And we think, going downhill is easy. Gravity works for us. We just have to lunge our way forward and find the ground waiting for us to land on it.

It is similar when it comes to bicyling. Going uphill is a challenge.
And going downhill is easy,
If,
If you have good brakes !

Today, I’d prepared myself mentally for an easy downhill ride. Things were going pretty smoothly and I didn’t even have to pedal to move onward.
But over time, the brakes seemed to be getting less and less efficient.
At one point, they were barely able to contain my speed downhill.

It was a matter of concern. I stopped and started again, trying to impede my pace by brushing my feet on the ground as required.    At one point, the slope was too steep for me to contain my speed.

I chose to stop and started walking with my bicycle in tow.

I thought to myself,
‘Maybe I should check a video online about how to tighten brakes.’
I switched on my phone but there was no network in the hills.

Then I wondered,
‘Maybe, I should look for a bicycle shop on the way. Until then I can push my bicycle.’

But after walking for ten minutes I thought,
‘Why can I not try to fix it myself ? Even if I go wrong, I will learn in the process. It must not be that difficult to understand the mechanism.’

I stopped walking and rested my bicycle against a wall.
After tinkering with the disc brakes for five minutes, I was able to do something that made it work.
Now, I had to learn what I did that made it work !
So I did it all over again.
Once I understood the mechanism, I did the same for the other pair of brakes.

In ten minutes, I had a bicycle with perfectly functional brakes.
The two hour walk to the city was reduced to a half an hour breeze of a ride downhill !

On the way, I tried to understand my own thought process.

First, I tried to look online, to learn how to do something virtually. (Looking outwards)

Then, when that didn’t work, I looked for someone who could do it for me, and learn by watching. (Looking around)

When that too didn’t work,
I chose to apply my own mind to it. And I learnt how to do it by experience. (Looking Inside)

I wondered,
What an upside down way of approaching a problem !
Internet has become such a convenience that we completely bypass our own mental faculty from the circuit of learning.
If we can’t learn it online, we try to learn from someone who knows it already.
All the while, the power of our seminal mind enfeebles.

Applying our own mind to a problem is the surest way to learn for life.
We need to cultivate the mindset of a pioneer, who chooses to experiment and learn form his own mistakes.
Eventually he does come up with a solution.

I feel that the best approach to learning something or finding a solution to a problem is

1) Look inward first (self -learning)
2) Then Look around (peer-learning)
3) Eventualy, Look outwards (virtual-learning)

We need to rebuilt trust with our mind’s abilities and not spoon-feed it with information.

Next time, before you search for something on google or try to learn something new online, grant yourself some time and try to understand and reason on your own.

Your mind will not fail you. It will come up with answers.
Trust your own mind.
It is a powerhouse.

On Age, Marriage and Responsibility

‘You have grown up quite too much now!’ remarked my mother over a phone call on my birthday.

‘Well yes, I have turned 28!’

‘Now it is time to be more responsible in life !’ she alluded.

‘We are not talking about marriage mom !’

Laughing at her fruitless attempt she said,
‘ But you are at the right age to take the next step in life.’

‘Will you listen to what I did today Mom before we continue further ?’

‘Yes , surely. Tell me.’

‘Yestersay, while trekking up a hill in the lower Himalayas, we noticed that there was a lot of garbage lying around everywhere on the route. It left me quite sleepless the whole night. The next morning, with our heavy backpacks and a garbage bag, we set forth to do our bit to make things better.
All throughout our 5 hour downhill journey, we knelt down and picked up as much trash as we could. In the end, my friend and I had collected a total of 5kgs of plastic from the trail.
Now, my dear mother, tell me,
Am I not taking responsibility ?’

‘ Yes, I am glad to know about how you decided to do your bit, when it was easy to just walk past and not do anything.’

‘Mom, I feel that one should not wait for an age to start taking responsibility.
I cannot promise to bring a bride home,
But I promise to be a responsible human being at every living moment.’

‘Do what makes you happy my son.’ she said encouragingly.

The conversation with my Mother on my birthday made me realise how we use an age as a benchmark to start being more responsible.
At a certain age, you should take responsibility of another person, start a family, earn a living, buy a house etc…
And most of us in the urban middle class succeed in doing all these things.

But accomplishing all these life imperatives does not necessarily mean we are being responsible.

Let me cite an example.

If one is not responsible enough to take care of his own health, exercise, eat well and sleep on time, is he in a position take care of another person?
If someone chooses to jeopardise his own health with vices and endanger his life,
Is he being responsible about the gift of life that has been bestowed upon him?

Once someone is responsible about his own health and well being, does he seek more responsibility to change things in the little world he dwells in?

Only when we start looking at the act of taking responsibility as a way of life, do we head in the direction of creating positive change both within and without.

Maybe while talking to kids, instead of saying ‘Be Careful’ we should say ‘Be Responsible’ more often.

I urge you to think about how responsible you are being about the immediate world that you interact with.
And try to be a little more participative, a little more responsible with each passing day. It should be a way of life !

Today, as I was approaching the end of the downhill trail, I saw two contrasting events.
Behind me was a group of young urban yuppies, choosing to throw wrappers on the trail.
In front of me was a group of village kids, sweeping the streets to keep the lanes litter free.

Now,
Who is older?
And who is being more responsible?

I leave you with that thought,
And the promise being responsible holds.

To a better world of our own making.

 

 

My Impossible List

About five years ago,
I read a blog on the internet that planted a seed inside me.
It was a list, called The Impossible List, compiled by Joel Runyon.

He compiled a list of all the things that he thought were impossible for him to achieve at that moment. And from then on, he set out to accomplish all these goals. With an enduring spirit of challenging his limits, he kept accomplishing all his crazy goals one after another.
He is a truly inspiring human being.

I’ve been trying to compile an Impossible list of my own.
It took some time (4 years!) and a lot of courage to get ready to share it with you publicly.

So today, to celebrate the 100th post of my blog that incidentally coincides with my birthday,
I am going to share my impossible list with you.

My Impossible List

Travel/ Adventure

– Visit every state and Union territory in
India
– Visit every continent
– Run to Bhutan
– Cross an international border on a
Unicycle
– Ride a bicycle to the highest motorable
road in the world
– Street perform at a tourist attraction and
raise money for charity
– Become a certified Scuba Diver
– Jump off a plane
– Jump off a cliff with a bungee cord

Physical Fitness

– Run a Half Marathon
– Run a Full Marathon
– Run an Ultra Marathon
– Learn to swim
– Swim 1km, 2km, 3 Km
– Complete a Half Ironman
– Finish a Full Iron Man
– Learn to do a Handstand
– Walk 25m on hands
– Do 100 consecutive push-ups
– Do 25 consecutive pull ups

Meditation

– Learn to Unicycle
– Walk on a slack-line forwards
– Walk on a slack line backwards

Writing/ Content Creation

– Publish a free E-Book a year
– Write one book a year
– Feature on a music album a year
– Publish a collection of poetry in a l
language I don’t speak yet
– Write a short film script and assist it.
– Start my own music channel on
YouTube
– Earn 1000 dedicated followers on my
Blog
– Do a collaborative project with another
artist every year

Entrepreneurship

– Create ‘Tribe of Compassion’
– Start a social business enterprise

Gift Economy

– Share my best work for free
– Be featured on the Wikipedia page of gift
economy

Mentoring

– Start a mentoring program based on Gift
Economy

Volunteering

– Start a volunteering space accessible to
Everyone
– Start a Volunteering movement

Language

– Learn to read, write and speak 6
languages

Build

– A shipping container home
– An Earthship

I’ll add more to the List soon.
Now, I am off,
To accomplish all that I think is Impossible.

More power to you !

Love,

Sreenath

Where are you bicycling to?

While passing through the hilly roads in Himachal, I would often pass through little hamlets. By the surprised look on the villagers’ faces, I guessed they wouldn’t be seeing many bicyclist on this steep terrain.

They would often ask,
‘Hey where have you come from?’

Not knowing how to answer that for myself, I would just say,
‘I’ve been bicycling from Delhi.’

‘Really? Where are you going?’

And that’s where I had three answers in my mind to choose from.

1) I could say the name of the very next village, (A commonplace goal)

2) Or the name of the next city. (A difficult but achievable goal)

3) Or, I could share my ultimate aim,
Of until which point up north I really wish to bicycle to.
(A Big Hairy Audacious Goal)

I always made it a point to share the third option.
And when I did, the villagers would take a good look at my modest physique and deep in their mind assume that I was crazy.

But I was always bid goodbye with good energy.
They would always wish me good luck and wave at me as I moved onward beyond their vantage.

In life, we are also asked similar questions by people. Mostly, concerning what we are doing and where we are headed.
And we are all guilty of sharing the most commonplace of activities we are engaged in, the most mundane of goals we have.

We feel we might be ridiculed if we share our grander goals, and be laughed at if we fail to achieve them.

So the conversation always goes like this.

‘Hey man, long time no see. What’s happening?’

And you say, ‘Same old, same old.’

Now, aren’t we guilty of limiting ourself?’

The common defense is,
‘My goals are none of their business. I like to keep my dreams to myself.
I might get jinxed.’

But deep inside we know, we are just afraid. We aren’t even afraid of our failures. We are really afraid of our own achievable greatness.
Plain and simple.

But the moment you choose to share your grander goals, ambitions that bring a beaming smile on your face as you say it out loud,
You reinforce the dream within you.

Our mind needs a constant reminder of what we are capable of and what we should be aiming for. Repeating our grander goals in front of people does just that.

Your dreams might seem outright crazy and unachievable to an someone who doesn’t know you so well. And mind you, just because someone is family or has been a friend for long doesn’t mean they know you well enough.

But share your dreams nevertheless. The crazy ones.

Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

Sharing your grander dreams will over time, only inspire confidence in people to do the same.

On that note,
I should share where I wish to bicycle to.

Laddakh, India.

Wish me luck 🙂

 

 

If you have a recurring dream…

The ability to dream is a gift we all have access to. Everyone, from the richest to the poorest of poor dream. In fact, it is not even a choice. If you sleep, a dream conjures up out of nowhere.

The imaginative human mind doesn’t stop dreaming even when wide awake.
We often call this state as ‘daydreaming’.
And unlike the involuntary nature of dreams we have while we are asleep, ‘daydreaming’ is pretty much in our control. We can choose what we want to dream about.

Some daydreams change as we grow up. Remember as kids how we dreamt of being pilots, firemen, clowns , soldiers…
Those dreams have definitely changed with time.
But some daydreams do not change with time. Especially the ones we have in early adulthood.
We all have dreams about mastering that one art form, travelling to a place unknown, to have a healthy mind and body, to be loved unconditionally…
These dreams take shape in our youth and stay within us.
And, we are all guilty of not acting on these dreams to make it a reality.
We take a few steps in the right direction but before we know we are off the track.
Remember that gym membership that you never really used ?
Instead, we do things that could rather wait.
We procrastinate.
We are pretty good at it, aren’t we?

But the dream still comes back to us,
Despite our failings.

It is easy to come to the conclusion that we are just lofty dreamers who would never act on our dreams.
Giving up on ourself is simple.
Losing faith is easier than believing in oneself.

But, if a dream keeps coming back to us, it must mean something.
I have always dreamt of being an early riser. I have failed so many times at waking up bright and early yet, I always wished I could do better.
It took me close to 5 years to cultivate a body clock that wakes me up before sunrise no matter what.
Repeated failings did not deter my motivation. The dream was still alive inside me. And while it was easier to give up on it when I was failing, I chose not to.

I had a similar experience with cultivating the habit of writing everyday. I have failed so many times at keeping a daily journal. But after repeated failings, I still was dreaming about it when wide awake.
I wondered, if the thought of writing regularly still lingers in my mind, it must mean something.
After 3 years of trying, I finally have cultivated the habit of writing everyday.

I am citing personal examples to emphasize how these recurring daydreams must be valued so profoundly by your psyche such that they don’t leave you despite repeated failings.

If you have a recurring dream that you never acted upon, or a dream you acted upon multiple times only to have failed to be consistent in the pursuit,
Do not lose heart.
Do not give up on yourself.

The recurrence of the dreams despite repeated failings is a sure sign that you must persevere.
And you will.

All successes stand strong on the bedrock of multiple failures.
Choose to stand up and try again.

Daydreams are the compass we must follow despite losing direction on the journey.

The most satisfying triumph is one when we transform imagination to reality.

With realising a recurring daydream, we have the opportunity to experience that feeling of triumph.

To more dreaming,
To more actions,
To more failings.

One day it will all fall into place.

The Power of Everyday (May-June)

Yesterday, I completed the second month of ‘The Power of Everyday project.’                        For those of you who haven’t read about it before, let me share a brief overview of the project.

The Power of Everyday is a project that investigates the effect of consistent deliberate practice on the body, mind and soul. Each month I pick up a few actions that I resolve to repeat every single day. In the end of the month, I reflect on the progress and learnings along the journey here on my blog.

Last month, I had five challenges to complete everyday-

1) To wake up before sunrise and write a page about it with my left hand (26/31)

2) Daydream for half an hour and write a page about it (25/31)

3) Practice Yoga every single day (25/31)

4) Celibate (31/31)

5) Write and publish a blog post every single day (30/31)

So how did I fare this month. In the month of April, I had a 100% success rate.
While I could not have similar success this month, I still learnt a lot.
I have mentioned in the brackets how many days out of 31 days of May was I able to finish the task.

The days I missed out on doing the tasks were mostly because of my peripatetic lifestyle at the moment. It is difficult to keep doing the daily tasks while being on the road, when you don’t know where you’re going to sleep at night.
Keeping that in mind, in June, I am only taking up those tasks that I can fulfil considering my current travel lifestyle.

I will keep sharing individual posts about what I’ve learnt from each of these experiments in the month of May over the next few days.

Meanwhile, I would like to share the projects for June for ‘The power of everyday project.’

Tasks for June :

1) Daydream and write two pages about it

2) Practice Yoga every day

3) Celibate

4) Write and publish a blog post a day

5) Spend 10 minutes on ear training every day

As you can see I’ve only added one new task this month.

I wish to be realistic and choose tasks that I can complete every day when I’m travelling.

This month, I wish to have some company in this project.

I invite you to choose a simple task that you’d like to do every single day and experience the progress first hand.

We all want to improve, don’t we?

Let’s commit to one simple task and take little steps to an evolved version of our self.

You can share your task for the month of June for ‘The Power of Everyday’ project in the comments below.
Let’s keep each other accountable and engineer our personal growth.

I look forward to know how you are challenging yourself this month.

In anticipation,

Your friend,

Sreenath

The art of listening

After a 52 day sojourn in Thailand, I reached India a couple of weeks ago. I had the fortune of staying with my friend’s family in Kolkata. I was fed home cooked food with utmost love by his mother for a whole week.
Both her sons are working in different cities and her husband is a working man who isn’t home for the most part of the day.
I would love to spend time with her in the afternoons, which she would usually spend alone, all by herself. She enjoyed my company too, and shared so many of her stories with me. It felt as if she didn’t have anyone to speak to for a long time.

On the first day she seemed to be a shy and introverted woman. But as she got to spend time with someone who would listen to her patiently, she opened up and spoke freely with joy.

During my stay in Kolkata, I also met with a school friend who’s been preparing for an entrance exam for a year at home.
We met up and he spoke on and on for hours on end. I felt happy to be there and give him company, for it felt as if he had not spoken to someone openly for a long time.

While in Delhi, I met a brave friend of mine who’s mother has been bed ridden for four years now. We used to play a lot of music together and share great brotherhood.
He also, had so much to talk about when we met. He spoke of his struggle, the hardship, his mother’s fighting spirit and his newfound belief in Buddhism. Despite his extroverted nature, I knew he had few people who he could talk to about matters of the heart. His sharing felt like a catharsis.

On my last day in Delhi, I found great company in another close friend’s Mother. When she came to know about my ambition to bicycle up North in the mountains, she started sharing her suggestions with spirited encouragement. Over time, she opened up and talked about her dreams, aspirations and nostalgia. Within half an hour, it felt as if she had shared so much of her life in the conversation.

These experiences got me wondering about a person’s desire for expression.
Anyone who has heard their own voice in a recording would say they do not like it at all. It sounds weird and whiney. One might sing to himself when alone, but would not record himself and listen back. It doesn’t sound as good !

But that is merely the physical aspect of our voice. Our true voice is in our thoughts and actions. The act of speaking merely helps to communicate.

Most of us are convinced that we do not have a good voice.
But boy, do we not love to be listened to?

In that moment, one forgoes the idea whether they have a good physical voice or not. While speaking to someone, what matters most is the voice in the heart.

It is tragic to see that despite our hyper connectedness, many of us do not have a patient, judgement free space/ friend to speak to. The voice deep inside our heart never finds expression.
But the moment, one finds a conducive space, even the most introverted of people share their life and experiences animatedly.

I wonder, maybe the best gift one could give to someone, especially to the elderly, is to just lend them a patient ear and listen with intent. There is plenty of learning and avenues to grow in the exercise.

Listening is an act of compassion.

And sometimes, the easiest way to be accepted and loved is to just listen,               with an open heart.

 

 

On friendship beyond context

I had the fortune of meeting a friend yesterday in Delhi. We used to play a lot of music together until a few years ago.
That was the context we grew closer in.
But despite being far away physically and not playing music together for so long, we both felt our friendship had grown over the years. It was a deeply reassuring feeling.

We made great conversation over a car ride and he dropped me at the metro station.
There I met my old student who I used to help learn how to play drums.
We reminisced about how our classes used to be, full of openness and fun. We used to discuss problems of Mathematics, philosophy, logic and science and learnt drumming in the process.
We both were students in those 40 minute sessions.
Now, I am no longer an official teacher to him. But we’re great friends, despite the distance.

These interactions made me realise how one can make the choice of fostering lasting relationships in life.

We all meet our friends in a certain context. We meet them either in school, college, an activity group, while playing sports or at work…you get the picture.

While we are interacting with them in the context we meet them in,
are we open to share our ideas and beliefs beyond the context of our interaction?

Can we talk about how to live a good life, what our dreams are, what we want to change about ourselves and the world around in the same breath as we talk about say pottery, if we met our friend first in a pottery workshop?

The longevity of a relationship is determined by how resilient is it in the face of changing contexts.
We are all growing, ageing, evolving, getting married, changing jobs, chasing dreams, becoming parents…
Can we still talk about minutiae over a margarita, the profoundness in finding purpose in life?

As they say in evolution it all boils down to
‘The survival of the fittest.’

The healthiest of friendships are ones where there is a constancy in love, care and respect for your friend despite the dynamic shifts in contexts life takes us through.

That in my opinion is a fit friendship,
a lasting frienship
A friendship that would truly,
Thrive.

 

 

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