Tag: Personal Growth (Page 7 of 9)

On engaging your mind

June 12, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

We have a perception that going uphill is difficult. Trekking up a hill is always challenging isn’t it?
We have to expend a lot of energy to gain elevation.

And we think, going downhill is easy. Gravity works for us. We just have to lunge our way forward and find the ground waiting for us to land on it.

It is similar when it comes to bicyling. Going uphill is a challenge.
And going downhill is easy,
If,
If you have good brakes !

Today, I’d prepared myself mentally for an easy downhill ride. Things were going pretty smoothly and I didn’t even have to pedal to move onward.
But over time, the brakes seemed to be getting less and less efficient.
At one point, they were barely able to contain my speed downhill.

It was a matter of concern. I stopped and started again, trying to impede my pace by brushing my feet on the ground as required. At one point, the slope was too steep for me to contain my speed.

I chose to stop and started walking with my bicycle in tow.

I thought to myself,
‘Maybe I should check a video online about how to tighten brakes.’
I switched on my phone but there was no network in the hills.

Then I wondered,
‘Maybe, I should look for a bicycle shop on the way. Until then I can push my bicycle.’

But after walking for ten minutes I thought,
‘Why can I not try to fix it myself ? Even if I go wrong, I will learn in the process. It must not be that difficult to understand the mechanism.’

I stopped walking and rested my bicycle against a wall.
After tinkering with the disc brakes for five minutes, I was able to do something that made it work.
Now, I had to learn what I did that made it work !
So I did it all over again.
Once I understood the mechanism, I did the same for the other pair of brakes.

In ten minutes, I had a bicycle with perfectly functional brakes.
The two hour walk to the city was reduced to a half an hour breeze of a ride downhill !

On the way, I tried to understand my own thought process.

First, I tried to look online, to learn how to do something virtually. (Looking outwards)

Then, when that didn’t work, I looked for someone who could do it for me, and learn by watching. (Looking around)

When that too didn’t work,
I chose to apply my own mind to it. And I learnt how to do it by experience. (Looking Inside)

I wondered,
What an upside down way of approaching a problem !
Internet has become such a convenience that we completely bypass our own mental faculty from the circuit of learning.
If we can’t learn it online, we try to learn from someone who knows it already.
All the while, the power of our seminal mind enfeebles.

Applying our own mind to a problem is the surest way to learn for life.
We need to cultivate the mindset of a pioneer, who chooses to experiment and learn form his own mistakes.
Eventually he does come up with a solution.

I feel that the best approach to learning something or finding a solution to a problem is

1) Look inward first (self -learning)
2) Then Look around (peer-learning)
3) Eventualy, Look outwards (virtual-learning)

We need to rebuilt trust with our mind’s abilities and not spoon-feed it with information.

Next time, before you search for something on google or try to learn something new online, grant yourself some time and try to understand and reason on your own.

Your mind will not fail you. It will come up with answers.
Trust your own mind.
It is a powerhouse.

On Age, Marriage and Responsibility

June 11, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

‘You have grown up quite too much now!’ remarked my mother over a phone call on my birthday.

‘Well yes, I have turned 28!’

‘Now it is time to be more responsible in life !’ she alluded.

‘We are not talking about marriage mom !’

Laughing at her fruitless attempt she said,
‘ But you are at the right age to take the next step in life.’

‘Will you listen to what I did today Mom before we continue further ?’

‘Yes , surely. Tell me.’

‘Yestersay, while trekking up a hill in the lower Himalayas, we noticed that there was a lot of garbage lying around everywhere on the route. It left me quite sleepless the whole night. The next morning, with our heavy backpacks and a garbage bag, we set forth to do our bit to make things better.
All throughout our 5 hour downhill journey, we knelt down and picked up as much trash as we could. In the end, my friend and I had collected a total of 5kgs of plastic from the trail.
Now, my dear mother, tell me,
Am I not taking responsibility ?’

‘ Yes, I am glad to know about how you decided to do your bit, when it was easy to just walk past and not do anything.’

‘Mom, I feel that one should not wait for an age to start taking responsibility.
I cannot promise to bring a bride home,
But I promise to be a responsible human being at every living moment.’

‘Do what makes you happy my son.’ she said encouragingly.

The conversation with my Mother on my birthday made me realise how we use an age as a benchmark to start being more responsible.
At a certain age, you should take responsibility of another person, start a family, earn a living, buy a house etc…
And most of us in the urban middle class succeed in doing all these things.

But accomplishing all these life imperatives does not necessarily mean we are being responsible.

Let me cite an example.

If one is not responsible enough to take care of his own health, exercise, eat well and sleep on time, is he in a position take care of another person?
If someone chooses to jeopardise his own health with vices and endanger his life,
Is he being responsible about the gift of life that has been bestowed upon him?

Once someone is responsible about his own health and well being, does he seek more responsibility to change things in the little world he dwells in?

Only when we start looking at the act of taking responsibility as a way of life, do we head in the direction of creating positive change both within and without.

Maybe while talking to kids, instead of saying ‘Be Careful’ we should say ‘Be Responsible’ more often.

I urge you to think about how responsible you are being about the immediate world that you interact with.
And try to be a little more participative, a little more responsible with each passing day. It should be a way of life !

Today, as I was approaching the end of the downhill trail, I saw two contrasting events.
Behind me was a group of young urban yuppies, choosing to throw wrappers on the trail.
In front of me was a group of village kids, sweeping the streets to keep the lanes litter free.

Now,
Who is older?
And who is being more responsible?

I leave you with that thought,
And the promise being responsible holds.

To a better world of our own making.

I am a Volunteer for Life

June 7, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

I’ve been riding my bicycle in India for ten days now. And it is the first time I rented a place to stay at night. On all other nights I would either sleep at a Gurudwara or a temple or at a friend’s place.
Today is my first paid stay so to say. I feel such a huge difference between the experiences of being hosted and paying to stay.
The place where I am staying looks like a chawl in Mumbai suburbs of the 90s. There is no fan, shower, Wifi, clean linen or even a doormat. There is a 50 watt bulb that infuses gloom in disptempered walls.
Frankly, it is quite a sad place.

But that is not what bothers me the most. I’ve stayed at places where I’ve had to sleep on the floor, in under construction houses and on one occasion I even spent the night on a bench at a bus stop.
I’ve spent most of my nights at a Gurudwara or a temple in India.
And I was totally okay with the utmost basic facilities I had at these places.

Why?

Because I was invited with open arms without any expectation of a transaction.
I had the freedom to move around and look for opportunities to help in the best manner I could.
I have volunteered in community kitchens, served food at the langars, swept floors, helped wash dishes for hours and on one occasion I even volunteered to clean up a disgusting community toilet out of my own desire to make things better.
I’ve slept in community halls on the floor after the long day filled with 6 hours of cycling and volunteering thereafter.
Yet, I have always slept like a baby and woken up with enthusiasm and purpose with the first light of the sun.

But today, in this enclosed space in the guest house, I feel sleepy, drained and devoid of energy.

I realised, maybe a transactional reality is not the context that brings out the best in me.
Here, at the guest house, I pay money and get a place to stay.
A transaction.
It doesn’t serve my spirit.

I would rather wish to engineer a context where I am free to contribute in whatever way I am capable of, at a place where I can engage with people and hopefully make friends and leave behind the place in a better condition.

It is not even about being a stingy traveller, who is always careful with money. I contributed monetatily at most places I was hosted for free, because I wish these places to exist and multiply, so that we have another context to experience. Because I want places that foster brotherhood to thrive.

While I know, the people running this guest house need money for sustenance and I’m happy to give them business, I realised this is not the best context for me to stay at.

In the interest of feeling more energised , enthused and eager to contribute I would choose to stay at a temple or a gurudwara or a kind host’s place.

This experience also made me understand why people choose to volunteer even on weekends despite a busy work week.
Volunteering is such an energising experience!
It will only fill you up with love and hope.

Maybe this weekend, instead of choosing to sleep over till late in the morning and going out for a brunch at a restaurant, I would like to suggest an alternative.

Go to a Gurudwara and volunteer at the community kitchen. They accept help form anyone who is willing to volunteer.
Instead of spending money at the restaurant, eat at the Langar in the Gurudwara for free.
I assure you, the experience will only leave you happy and energised.
And you will wish to donate a fraction of the money you would have spent at the restaurant to the Gurudwara donation box.

It is a much better investment of time and money.

Tomorrow, I am going to leave my bicycle behind and trek with a couple of friends to Kheerganga, Himachal Pradesh.
It is likely that I will pitch up a tent for the first time in India.
Since I would be hosted by mother nature in the valley, I am wondering how to be of help to her.
I have a huge garbage bag folded up in my backpack.
Maybe, I will just pickup all the trash that doesn’t belong in mother nature’s lap.

I can’t help being helpful.

I choose to be a volunteer for life.

I hope you have a fulfiling weekend my dear friend !

Where are you bicycling to?

June 6, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

While passing through the hilly roads in Himachal, I would often pass through little hamlets. By the surprised look on the villagers’ faces, I guessed they wouldn’t be seeing many bicyclist on this steep terrain.

They would often ask,
‘Hey where have you come from?’

Not knowing how to answer that for myself, I would just say,
‘I’ve been bicycling from Delhi.’

‘Really? Where are you going?’

And that’s where I had three answers in my mind to choose from.

1) I could say the name of the very next village, (A commonplace goal)

2) Or the name of the next city. (A difficult but achievable goal)

3) Or, I could share my ultimate aim,
Of until which point up north I really wish to bicycle to.
(A Big Hairy Audacious Goal)

I always made it a point to share the third option.
And when I did, the villagers would take a good look at my modest physique and deep in their mind assume that I was crazy.

But I was always bid goodbye with good energy.
They would always wish me good luck and wave at me as I moved onward beyond their vantage.

In life, we are also asked similar questions by people. Mostly, concerning what we are doing and where we are headed.
And we are all guilty of sharing the most commonplace of activities we are engaged in, the most mundane of goals we have.

We feel we might be ridiculed if we share our grander goals, and be laughed at if we fail to achieve them.

So the conversation always goes like this.

‘Hey man, long time no see. What’s happening?’

And you say, ‘Same old, same old.’

Now, aren’t we guilty of limiting ourself?’

The common defense is,
‘My goals are none of their business. I like to keep my dreams to myself.
I might get jinxed.’

But deep inside we know, we are just afraid. We aren’t even afraid of our failures. We are really afraid of our own achievable greatness.
Plain and simple.

But the moment you choose to share your grander goals, ambitions that bring a beaming smile on your face as you say it out loud,
You reinforce the dream within you.

Our mind needs a constant reminder of what we are capable of and what we should be aiming for. Repeating our grander goals in front of people does just that.

Your dreams might seem outright crazy and unachievable to an someone who doesn’t know you so well. And mind you, just because someone is family or has been a friend for long doesn’t mean they know you well enough.

But share your dreams nevertheless. The crazy ones.

Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

Sharing your grander dreams will over time, only inspire confidence in people to do the same.

On that note,
I should share where I wish to bicycle to.

Laddakh, India.

Wish me luck 🙂

The Power of Everyday (May-June)

June 1, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

Yesterday, I completed the second month of ‘The Power of Everyday project.’ For those of you who haven’t read about it before, let me share a brief overview of the project.

The Power of Everyday is a project that investigates the effect of consistent deliberate practice on the body, mind and soul. Each month I pick up a few actions that I resolve to repeat every single day. In the end of the month, I reflect on the progress and learnings along the journey here on my blog.

Last month, I had five challenges to complete everyday-

1) To wake up before sunrise and write a page about it with my left hand (26/31)

2) Daydream for half an hour and write a page about it (25/31)

3) Practice Yoga every single day (25/31)

4) Celibate (31/31)

5) Write and publish a blog post every single day (30/31)

So how did I fare this month. In the month of April, I had a 100% success rate.
While I could not have similar success this month, I still learnt a lot.
I have mentioned in the brackets how many days out of 31 days of May was I able to finish the task.

The days I missed out on doing the tasks were mostly because of my peripatetic lifestyle at the moment. It is difficult to keep doing the daily tasks while being on the road, when you don’t know where you’re going to sleep at night.
Keeping that in mind, in June, I am only taking up those tasks that I can fulfil considering my current travel lifestyle.

I will keep sharing individual posts about what I’ve learnt from each of these experiments in the month of May over the next few days.

Meanwhile, I would like to share the projects for June for ‘The power of everyday project.’

Tasks for June :

1) Daydream and write two pages about it

2) Practice Yoga every day

3) Celibate

4) Write and publish a blog post a day

5) Spend 10 minutes on ear training every day

As you can see I’ve only added one new task this month.

I wish to be realistic and choose tasks that I can complete every day when I’m travelling.

This month, I wish to have some company in this project.

I invite you to choose a simple task that you’d like to do every single day and experience the progress first hand.

We all want to improve, don’t we?

Let’s commit to one simple task and take little steps to an evolved version of our self.

You can share your task for the month of June for ‘The Power of Everyday’ project in the comments below.
Let’s keep each other accountable and engineer our personal growth.

I look forward to know how you are challenging yourself this month.

In anticipation,

Your friend,

Sreenath

The art of listening

May 31, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

After a 52 day sojourn in Thailand, I reached India a couple of weeks ago. I had the fortune of staying with my friend’s family in Kolkata. I was fed home cooked food with utmost love by his mother for a whole week.
Both her sons are working in different cities and her husband is a working man who isn’t home for the most part of the day.
I would love to spend time with her in the afternoons, which she would usually spend alone, all by herself. She enjoyed my company too, and shared so many of her stories with me. It felt as if she didn’t have anyone to speak to for a long time.

On the first day she seemed to be a shy and introverted woman. But as she got to spend time with someone who would listen to her patiently, she opened up and spoke freely with joy.

During my stay in Kolkata, I also met with a school friend who’s been preparing for an entrance exam for a year at home.
We met up and he spoke on and on for hours on end. I felt happy to be there and give him company, for it felt as if he had not spoken to someone openly for a long time.

While in Delhi, I met a brave friend of mine who’s mother has been bed ridden for four years now. We used to play a lot of music together and share great brotherhood.
He also, had so much to talk about when we met. He spoke of his struggle, the hardship, his mother’s fighting spirit and his newfound belief in Buddhism. Despite his extroverted nature, I knew he had few people who he could talk to about matters of the heart. His sharing felt like a catharsis.

On my last day in Delhi, I found great company in another close friend’s Mother. When she came to know about my ambition to bicycle up North in the mountains, she started sharing her suggestions with spirited encouragement. Over time, she opened up and talked about her dreams, aspirations and nostalgia. Within half an hour, it felt as if she had shared so much of her life in the conversation.

These experiences got me wondering about a person’s desire for expression.
Anyone who has heard their own voice in a recording would say they do not like it at all. It sounds weird and whiney. One might sing to himself when alone, but would not record himself and listen back. It doesn’t sound as good !

But that is merely the physical aspect of our voice. Our true voice is in our thoughts and actions. The act of speaking merely helps to communicate.

Most of us are convinced that we do not have a good voice.
But boy, do we not love to be listened to?

In that moment, one forgoes the idea whether they have a good physical voice or not. While speaking to someone, what matters most is the voice in the heart.

It is tragic to see that despite our hyper connectedness, many of us do not have a patient, judgement free space/ friend to speak to. The voice deep inside our heart never finds expression.
But the moment, one finds a conducive space, even the most introverted of people share their life and experiences animatedly.

I wonder, maybe the best gift one could give to someone, especially to the elderly, is to just lend them a patient ear and listen with intent. There is plenty of learning and avenues to grow in the exercise.

Listening is an act of compassion.

And sometimes, the easiest way to be accepted and loved is to just listen, with an open heart.

On friendship beyond context

May 27, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

I had the fortune of meeting a friend yesterday in Delhi. We used to play a lot of music together until a few years ago.
That was the context we grew closer in.
But despite being far away physically and not playing music together for so long, we both felt our friendship had grown over the years. It was a deeply reassuring feeling.

We made great conversation over a car ride and he dropped me at the metro station.
There I met my old student who I used to help learn how to play drums.
We reminisced about how our classes used to be, full of openness and fun. We used to discuss problems of Mathematics, philosophy, logic and science and learnt drumming in the process.
We both were students in those 40 minute sessions.
Now, I am no longer an official teacher to him. But we’re great friends, despite the distance.

These interactions made me realise how one can make the choice of fostering lasting relationships in life.

We all meet our friends in a certain context. We meet them either in school, college, an activity group, while playing sports or at work…you get the picture.

While we are interacting with them in the context we meet them in,
are we open to share our ideas and beliefs beyond the context of our interaction?

Can we talk about how to live a good life, what our dreams are, what we want to change about ourselves and the world around in the same breath as we talk about say pottery, if we met our friend first in a pottery workshop?

The longevity of a relationship is determined by how resilient is it in the face of changing contexts.
We are all growing, ageing, evolving, getting married, changing jobs, chasing dreams, becoming parents…
Can we still talk about minutiae over a margarita, the profoundness in finding purpose in life?

As they say in evolution it all boils down to
‘The survival of the fittest.’

The healthiest of friendships are ones where there is a constancy in love, care and respect for your friend despite the dynamic shifts in contexts life takes us through.

That in my opinion is a fit friendship,
a lasting frienship
A friendship that would truly,
Thrive.

What time is it Buddha?

May 25, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

I have a little polaroid camera in my bag. Whenever I find a kind and helpful person while travelling, I click a Polaroid picture for them as a gift.
I had the fortune of meeting a kind bicycle mechanic, Nu, in Chiang Mai.
He helped me even when his shop was shut for the Thai new year.
Moved by his desire to help, I clicked him a nice Polaroid picture with one of his cats in his lap.
He took out a marker to write the date at the bottom of the picture.
It read ‘13-4-2561‘

For a moment I was taken aback.
Was it possible that I was time travelling and breached past the time-space continuum to a point in future?

Nu sensed my curious mix of surprise and disbelief.

‘It is the Buddhist calendar date. Don’t worry !’ he shared smilingly.

I was relieved and a tad disappointed at the same time. Wouldn’t it be fun to have time travelled after all !

The year in which we live is also relative to our set of beliefs. I am sure there will be remote tribes where it would be another calendar year, if they believe in calendar years at all.

That night, back at my hostel, I was sitting in the lounge and writing on my laptop. My laptop still displayed the Indian standard time on it while my cellphone had the Thai time.
I looked at the laptop of a friend sitting next to me. Her clock showed the time in Germany. I looked at another friend who was waiting for sunrise in the west coast of USA so that he could call and talk to his family. It was late at night in Thailand but in our minds we also had the time of the places where our friends and family lived.

I wondered, well,
even time, at the same instant,
Is relative to where a person is.

The other day someone shared an article with me that asserted that time is merely a concept of our own making. Our sense of time is a locally agreed upon reality here on earth. Our understanding of time warps when viewed in the grand timelessness of the cosmos.

How do I make sense of time after all these stimuli broadening my perspective within a span of a day, which is also a local cosmic reality.

I found myself in a Buddhist temple the next morning.
Sitting in front of Buddha’s statue, I asked,

‘What year is it now Buddha?’

He chuckled and replied,
‘There is no real answer for that question.’

‘What day is it then?’

‘ It is today.’ he said matter of factly.

‘And what time is it?’

‘It is now.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘The only true, non negotiable, non relative time, in now. No matter where you are on earth, that stands true, doesn’t it?’

‘Hmm…so ‘now’ is the correct time in your opinion.’

‘It is not my opinion. It is a truism.’ he said.

‘I see, Now is the right time.’

‘Yes, Now is the right time, to do what truly matters to you most.’

We shared the same half smile, the Buddha and I.
I clicked a Polaroid picture with the Buddha. I felt no need to put a date stamp on it.

Enlightened by the profoundly simple sermon, I got up with enthusiasm,
‘To do what truly matters to me, in the present moment.’

‘Now.’

On an artist’s state being

May 24, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

‘So what music are you listening to these days?’ I asked my friend Vijay over a phone call.’

‘Ah, I must share this artist’s music with you. His playing is absolutely mesmerising. It is a wedlock of poetic expression with reckless abandon. He plays as if he doesn’t care who is listening or not listening for that matter. He just does his thing. I wonder how long it would have taken him to have that state of being.’

‘Sounds fascinating ! Do share his music with me !’

‘I will, when we hang up.’

And we went on with our friendly, fruitful conversation.

The way Vijay described the musician’s state of being made an impression on me.
I remembered a phrase a dance teacher used to say when people were shy to sway. He would say,

‘Dance as if nobody is watching.’

While that helped people for a while, of course their conscious state of mind came back to them in no time.

But when kids dance, they know the whole world around them is watching. Their expression spouts out in bountiful measure nevertheless.
They don’t dance as if nobody is watching !

Maybe the way to dance best is to dance with a subtle awareness. An awareness that people might be watching. Or not.
Consciousness is such a gift. It should never be stifled by being ‘conscious’!

As a musician, I have also felt this state of being ‘conscious’ while playing. It happens even to the best of us.

We all fall in that trap of trying to be ‘good enough’ as someone. That someone could be your favourite artist, a contemporary or your own mentor.
But in reality we can only be as good as our best selves. We can never be as good as someone outside our own being.
We can only push further and reach the heights we are capable of. The moment we stop having an external benchmark, a sense of emancipation will dawn on us.

While you should always strive to learn from everyone,
from a master to a novice,
The goal should always be to reach your best possible expression,
Your truest artistic splendor.

And it is best achieved by not striving to ‘be like someone.’
Surprisingly, it is not even achieved by striving ‘to be the best version of yourself.’

The most natural way to progress is just by ‘being’.

It might sound psuedo-spiritual.
And I must admit that it is a difficult state of being to win back.

But we had that state of being as kids.
I am not talking about mastery. Kids are not masters at an artform per se.
I am talking about that subtle awareness.
And the state of just ‘being’,
and expressing until you’re spent for the moment, for the day.

We all had that state of being.
We just have to unlearn.
Unlearn the habit of self-doubt, comparison, and the state of being ‘conscious’.

Now that I wonder about my friend’s question of,
‘I wonder how long it would have taken him to have that state of being’,

I think that the artist preserved the childlike ‘being’ he had as a kid.
Maybe he has always had that state of being.
Like we all did once upon a time.

And we can all strive for that state of being.
In the interest of our best artistic expression.
In the journey of being the best human we can be.

Sometimes the fastest way to learn,
Is to Unlearn.

How to open up your heart

May 23, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

I had the fortune of volunteering at ‘Mindful Farm’, a little community nestled among hillocks in North Chiang Mai, Thailand.

One of the things I liked most about being there was the nutritious breakfast we used to eat, seated on the floor, in complete silence, mindfully.

After breakfast, one of us would read a little story about mindfulness in daily life to everyone else. The founder, Pi Nan, had a wonderful collection of stories to be read out loud every morning.

On a particular morning, my friend Alice was reading out a story. She read the story with such an endearing cadence that all of us just wanted to keep on listening. Giving space and emphasis as it deemed fit, she beckoned us all on a journey, like Pied Piper would with his pipe.
After she finished reading the story, we all were secretly wishing that she kept on reading !

We got up from our places and continued on to work on the farm.
While we were busy working, I took a moment to compliment her about the way she read the story.

‘Alice, how did you learn to read like that?’

‘Ah, did you enjoy it?’ she asked.

‘Yes, indeed. It was read with such empathy and emotion. I felt as if I was a kid in a nursery and my teacher was reading a gripping little tale to me.’

‘Well, I am a teacher back in Myanmar. I teach kids. I have to be able to read engagingly, don’t I?’

‘Ah, that explains it!’

‘You know, I feel that we assume that we no longer need to be read to once we learn how to read. But isn’t it a joy to be be listening to a story read with the right emotion and flow?’

‘By all means !’ I assented.

And we carried on our work in the little patch of the garden.

Yesterday, my friend’s father and I sat down to share time and space. I narrated a short story to him I had written a few days ago. He recited a few of the couplets he had composed.
He had such joy in his spirit when he recited his own poetry composed in an agreeable melody.

Once he was done reciting he spoke,

‘You know, my wife has insomnia. When she cannot fall asleep at night, I sing my poetry as a lullaby to her. Before she knows, she falls asleep like a content baby.’

‘How do you think that works Uncle?’ I asked.

‘You know, I think we all feel that only little babies need lullabies to fall asleep. But, we could all use a lullaby in our life.’

Smiling gently to his wise observation, we enjoyed the evening breeze.

These two experiences with Alice and my friend’s father got me thinking about the things we do away with as we grow up.

Most experiences we consider so precious as kids are deemed to be childish.

Who doesn’t remember sleeping to a lullaby? Or a short story performed by Granny in the dark theatre of the night, that soothed us into a dream filled sleep?
The caressing on our ruffled hair by Mom, when we were down with fever? Her peculiar scent that made you feel you’re home in her arms?

As we grow up we do not let these experiences into our lives. We dare not to sleep in our mother’s lap, rationalizing our fear, fooling ourselves out of what we might truly need.

After an age, subconsciously we seek the same feelings as we did as a child, from a partner.

Yes, we need to listen to someone with deep anticipation and intent, just how we used to listen to those childhood stories.
We need to listen to them whisper in our ear, to lead us to a sound sleep, just how a lullaby used to do back in the day. We need to be touched, lovingly, like we allowed our mother to once upon a time. We need that embracing scent of our beloved, to feel home, no matter where we are, just like our mother’s scent made us feel.

Our adulthood comes with a baggage. The inertia of all those walls that we build between us and our guileless heart.
Our heart was open to love as children.
But as we grew up, we even started feeling awkward when embracing our own parents, something that used to be so natural !
How is this growth in any sense of the word?

Sometimes, growth means to retreat.
Retreat to a state of pure being,
Of having an open heart,
An all embracing soul,
That touches and let’s itself be touched.
That seeks out an embrace,a lullaby, a story, the scent of home…