Category: Personal Growth (Page 3 of 8)

On the urgent need for Motherhood

December 25, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

We are living in a challenging time in history. Yes, there have been times in the past when life was much more difficult, life expectancy was low and there was a constant threat of invasions, battles and bloodshed.
That was a part of evolution of the human psyche.
But, never before in history have we heard Mother Earth being endangered by any species.

Us.

Times have changed.

The appalling desecration our race has perpetrated on our planet is beyond question.

Is there a way we can bring about a shift in our global consciousness?

I believe there is.

We, as humans, regardless of gender, need to embody the spirit of motherhood.

A mother is an epitome of unconditional love, integrity, resilience, foresight, character, care and concern.

Is there any problem that seems too big to surmount if there’s a motherly spirit around you?

Sadly though, our mainstream culture is witnessing a global shift towards a masochistic aggression.
World leaders are rolling up hatred and divisiveness to get elected in office. And they seem to be winning at the moment.

This cultural shift gets imbibed in the spirit of the young boys, the leaders of tomorrow.

But is there one problem we are facing that we were able to address or solve with this attitude?
We cannot go on like this.

I believe the road to cultivating more motherhood in our society has to infiltrate from down to up, from our little homes to the big offices.

Let me cite an example.

A little boy has no qualms about picking up a puppy, feeding it and cuddling with it all day. It is absolutely comfortable with loving and caring like a mother.
But past a certain age, boys refrain from doing the same.
Part of it is hormonal, but surely part of it has to do with societal conditioning.
Even fathers dissuade young boys from being a ‘girl’. Friends reprimand each other to ‘man-up’.
The societal precedent for manhood is not well placed, neither for the heart of the man, nor for the spirit of the world.

We need to make men believe that having a soft, caring and compassionate heart is not being effeminate,
But it is being motherly.

We need the spirit of motherhood in our offices, in public and environmental policy, in administration, in the government.

As reality stands today, majority of workforce comprises of men.

If we open our minds and welcome the motherly spirit in the hearts of our men, the world will see a discerning positive change.

And if we have the whole world embody a caring motherly spirit rather than just half of it, there will only be a mellifluous harmony in our collective existence.

Mother Earth would welcome our motherhood.

In the end,
I believe that a man of great character is one who has the heart, to have the heart of a mother.

Let us foster motherhood.

Together.

Picture : via www.lifeisanecho.com

A plan for the last week of the year

December 24, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

Fifty one weeks have passed. Today, the sunrise ushered in the final week of 2018.

As the new year is approaching, I find billboards and airwaves brim with the invitation to enjoy, make merry, shop and dance your nights away.
The chorus being drummed up is subconsciously making us all prone to leaning towards consumption and decadence.
But, this blatant and overt invitation by forces of the market might be steering us away from the start of something beautiful.

Here, I would like to suggest an alternative narrative.

What if instead of falling into the trap of consumption, we make a mindful choice of dividing our precious energy reserve into three parts?

The parts are:

a) Contemplation
b) Resolution
c) Celebration

Contemplation :

You have spent 51 weeks of this year.
How was the return of investment of that time? How mindfully did you live? What were you triumphs and failures? What did you learn from either?
Contemplation helps one reflect on his life so far, so that his future decisions serve his growth best.

Resolution :

What would you like to do next year? What do you wish to improve on?
How deliberate can you be about fulfilling your deep held dreams?
Who would you like to help?
How?

Resolution helps you set a clear agenda about what you must do with your precious time so that you get the best return from your investment. It helps build a firm, reason based foundation, one that will help you create value out of your time.

Celebration :

Of course, there should be room for merriment in life. You should celebrate your achievements and failures alike, and share energy with people who you love and care about.

Celebration does not entail consumption.
Find a way to celebrate the last day of the year the way you like best, with the people you adore.

Maybe there’s more fun in cooking together with friends and dancing in your apartment with your pet dog in tow, than partying in a pub where pets aren’t allowed, you can’t control the music and you’re surrounded by people not exactly in their senses.
Let this year’s celebration be more mindful.

The forces of the market are strong. You will feel a gravitation towards consumption. But this time over, I wish you make a reasoned choice.

Follow these three simple steps in that order.

Contemplation
Resolution
Celebration

You will find much more happiness in the exercise than any year end discount deal there is.

Invest the last week of the year wisely.
I hope you find a pen and paper and plan this out for yourself.

I believe you will.

A Song for Silence

December 22, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

I see a solitary ant, carrying a sugar cube huge,
Marching on to its colony, its homely refuge,
Oh this tiny being, what a wonder !
Never does it let out even a whimper.

I see a little sapling with leaves but two,
Fighting its way up, to a world bright and new,
Oh this son of a seed, brave with no fear,
Never do a rustle from the hustle do I hear.

The wind and the waves, riding on time,
Travellers forever with no reason or rhyme,
Oh these vagabonds, to every man’s intrigue,
Never do they speak of a weariness or fatigue.

Spinning and revolving around the sun,
Maybe ever since time had begun,
Mother of seasons, with a tilt, so busy,
The earth doesn’t ever speak of being sunburnt or dizzy.

Never is the sun too hot, or the moon too blue,
Hidden somewhere, there’s a subtle clue.

Look at life and work from another lens,
Let the music to your work be but silence.

Why shout, in stillness should you rejoice,
For in that silence will your work, find its own true voice.

Don’t let work be loud, let it be loved instead,
Toil in silence and have the heart to leave things unsaid.

To foster grace, let that be your purpose sole,
And work shall find harmony with the song of every soul.

On the Magic of Showing Up

December 21, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

Today marks the end of the third week of December. It has been 21 days since I started the December edition of ‘The Power Of Everyday’ project.

For this month I had chosen the task of writing and publishing a blog post every single day. And I am happy to share that so far, I haven’t missed a single day.

It was daunting to imagine at first that I would be able to write and share something meaningful every day. But three weeks into the challenge, I feel confident about my ability to keep up.

Today I would like to share my experience so far, and what I learned from other like minded people in this journey.

A few years back, I had read about an intriguing morning routine of a world class gymnast. She did away from having an elaborate plan about each day’s routine.

She had only one rule to follow.

Every morning, at 4:30 am she had to be waiting for the public bus that took her to the training facility.
She did not have the aim of practising everyday.
The rule was to show up at that bus stop.
And every single day, by the time she reached the bus stop, she had already won over any inertia that held her back.
Training was then only a natural consequence.

I was inspired by this novel approach and got thinking about how I could design a similar framework for my own writing endeavor.

The simple rule I came up with was :

‘Show up at your writing desk at 8 am, every single day.’

I would already have a minimal and organised desk that I’d prepare the night before. A blank leaf of my journal would be open, waiting for me.

All I had to do was to show up at 8 am and sit in the chair.

And then, the magic happens!

Over the course of the past three weeks, I’ve come to realise that making art is more about the discipline than inspiration.

Here’s a brilliantly illustrated comic about why inspiration comes to those who master their disinclination.

If you wish to improve on your art, form habits that align you in the direction of your dreams, and live a creative life,
You just need to follow a simple rule.

Show Up.
Every single day.

It might sound sterile and counterintuitive to the idea of spontaneous creativity. But inspiration will only come to you, if it finds you working.

Do not aim to say, paint everyday if you are a painter.
Sit with your sketchbook in the park, every single day.
That will make sure you will make art everyday.

Create a framework.
And stick to it.

Once you show up, you’d realise that
The idea is already waiting for you.

It really works. Try it !

I wish you good luck 🙂

On just doing things without thinking

December 18, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

There’s a certain sense flow in the spirit of a child, a magical blend of curiosity and fearless adventure in every moment of its being. The openness to explore, decipher and create emanates from its core, as a natural expression of life itself.

Kids never think twice before they attempt something. They could open up their whole racing car toy to make sense of how it works, talk to strangers as if they’re long lost friends, dance even if there’s no music around, and even reprimand their Grandpa if he doesn’t practice what he preaches !

The energy flows as it comes, unhindered.

In a way, they are ‘just doing things without too much thinking.’

And how much life do they squeeze out of each living moment with that flamboyance !

While we adults, in comparison, have quite a constipated existence.

Why?

Because, believe it or not, we too,
are ‘just doing things without too much thinking.’
The same expression I had used earlier for a kid’s state of being applies to us, however in a way that doesn’t serve our growth

We are too busy doing things without giving conscious thought about it. Despite access to all the knowledge in the world we are just getting on with our lives.

What are we making off of our privilege?

We choose to not take care of our health,
eat and sleep at ungodly hours, poison our bodies with socially accepted addictions, all the while knowing that it does us only harm.
We box up our lives, feeling sorry for ourselves despite our privilege while we could be finding ways to help people in a greater need than us.
And life goes on like that, as we keep scrolling through a stream of information just to fill up the void in our life.

We get on with our lives,

‘Just doing these things without too much thinking.’

Life goes on.

A child also keeps doing things without too much thinking, but how profoundly different is its life from ours!

We need a phase shift.
Now.

For that shift to happen we must follow a two step process :

1) Rediscover the childlike abandon in us and do things without being bogged down by self doubt and fear of judgement.

2) Be mindful and deliberate about our lives, and not let it just happen.

With step one, we will regain the creative vigor of a child, beyond any imagined fear.

With step two, we will make the best use of our knowledge and channel our creative energy wisely, in the direction that serves everyone best.

After all, there are so many things in worlds within and without, that deserve attention and action from our end !

It is the same expression :

‘Just doing things without much thinking‘

It could mean a mindless existence in one sense.
But it could also mean a flamboyant existence rolling like a juggernaut in the direction of divinity.

It is a matter of choice, isn’t it?

Let’s change gears, course correct our journey, and give a better meaning to our existence.

Let’s do this !

How to Upgrade your existence

December 17, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

Normal is such a normal word isn’t it?
It refers of all things ordinary, the banal, the commonplace, not showing any deviance from the usual.
It is a word that references itself in its character. Normal.

There is an ubiquity to this word, despite how flavorless it is.
We use this word quite often to refer to the state in our own life. In fact, despite how lacklustre it sounds, we all wish for a ‘normal’ life, don’t we?

There is only one issue with wishing for such a normalcy in life.
It is that, often we seek what’s considered normal on a societal level. We take normal to be something that has met with the tacit agreement of others around us. We do not take a moment to consider and set a benchmark for our own self, of what we want our normal to be!

Let me cite a personal example.

The other day, my father came into my room when I was writing. He was a bit surprised to see me write with my left hand. He’d always remembered me to be right-handed. Since he hadn’t seen me for a long time, he wondered if he had forgotten which was my dominant hand.

Eventually I told him that I had been writing with my left hand everyday for the past 18 months. And now, it felt totally normal to me. I sometimes come to my writing desk and pick up the pen quite instinctively with my left hand.

That’s a normal I worked towards, something I eventually I got used to.

Would it not be best, if we strived to upgrade our ‘normal’ to a more challenging state of being?
Normal doesn’t have be a constant, it needs to have a positive evolutionary slope.

Personally, I am still trying to level up on my normalcy. I am constantly trying to be open in the heart, just as a child, something that doesn’t come naturally to adults. But I am working my way towards making it a normal part of my being.
Likewise there are many other areas where I wish to bring an elevation in my normal state of being. It is an ongoing process that challenges you to grow mindfully.

There is nothing wrong with wishing to lead a normal life, as long as you define what you accept as normal, as long as you choose to push your boundaries and upgrade your normalcy.

The same word, normal, gets invigorated once we choose give it our own definition.

Define your own ‘normal’ and constantly strive for an upgrade in your state of being.
To do that for your evolution, should after all become,
Normal.

When an old man runs

December 15, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

An old man used to frequent a park. He wouldn’t do much there. He would just sit on a wooden bench and enjoy the breeze of the season.
Every evening, he would see a group of three young men meet at the park after work. They would just sit on the bench opposite him and chatter away mindlessly.

The old man could barely see much. But even in a few months of observation, he could sense the gradual deterioration in the health of the young men.

He wished to change things.
But how? He wondered.

The next day, the old man quit his slippers and came to the park in his shoes. Just as the three men came in the park that evening, they were surprised to see the old man walk around the park with his cane.
In a few weeks, the old man felt healthy enough to set aside his cane and walk briskly without it.
Each time he would pass their field of vision, the men would feel a strange feeling inside them. Their talking would stop and all their attention would momentarily be on the old man.

The following month, the three men got a big shock. The old man was jogging slowly around the park with a beaming smile. There wasn’t much talk that day, just a lot of silence.

Next day, the old man got a surprise he was wishing for all along. The three young men were waiting for him in their running shoes. Soon, the three of them were following the old man around like chicks around mama hen.
Even with his slow breezy pace, the old man had moved three mountains semingly set in stone, in gentle onward motion.

For a few weeks they would run like this everyday.
Until one day, the old man didn’t show up.

They assumed that he was unwell and continued on with the running.

Little did they know, that from the vantage of heaven, he was rejoicing the sight of a stuttered jog turning into elegant strides.

Isn’t that the best way to make a change whose time has come?
To lead by example, beyond all rationalisation.

If we seek positive change, then shouldn’t we, at every moment, strive to be either the old man or the three young men?

If we can, we must lead the change.
If not, we should follow the ones who show us the path.

Our little world needs a lot of change.
Passivity breeds deterioration.
Only in running actively, in the direction of solutions would we find the blueprint of a better world.

Run. Follow. Learn.

On finding equanimity in life

December 13, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

The test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind and still have the ability to function.
– F. Scott Fitzgerald

We have all experienced that emotion at least once in life when we think that in the grand scheme of things, we don’t really matter.
In the infinity of the cosmos, the constant sourceless flow time, does a speck of a little being that appears and disappears in a flash hold any significance?
Yes, in the bigger picture, even in the observable universe, we don’t even feature as a faint blip on the cosmic radar.
One could thus infer that life is quite pointless, devoid of any meaning.

But wait a moment and think.

Don’t we also have the opportunity to find meaning for our life for our own self?

We have a finite amount of time to experience our perceptual reality and engage ourselves in something that we find meaningful.

It might not matter in the bigger picture, but in the present moment, what we do with our life and what adds meaning to it matters, doesn’t it?

So how does one find a middle ground while being confronted with apparent pointlessness on one hand and finding meaning on the other?

Here’s where the quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald comes in.

To make peace with pointlessness and meaning, we have to able to hold both ideas in our head at the same time.
And, it can do wonders to your existence.

On one hand, realising our pointlessness in the grand scheme of things will make sure we don’t become egocentric in our perspective.
On the other hand, choosing to find meaning for our own life and living by it will make us more responsible carriers of consciousness.

Once we learn to make peace with both these opposing ideas, of pointlessness and meaning, a certain stoic calm would dawn upon us.
In a way, we will learn when to take life seriously and when to just sit back, accept and laugh at how insignificant we are.

An image conjures up in my mind when I think about making peace with this duality.

Imagine a father and his 5 year old son peering through a telescope at a clear night sky.
The father looks at a minisclue fraction of the cosmos through the lenses and realises how little his existence is.
And then, he looks at his son gazing through the telescope in awe and finds all the meaning in the world to live fully and responsibly. To make the most out of his existence.
In that moment of realization, he’s made peace with his reality.

Perhaps the best way to stay clear of nihilism and egomania, is to understand the duality of pointlessness and meaning,
and live with a solemn awareness of both ideas each living moment.

How does one make peace with these polar opposite perspectives?

Perhaps, a telescope would help.
Or maybe,
watching your baby fall asleep.

Are you being a true friend?

December 12, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

The internet tells me I have more than a 1000 friends in the online ecosystem.
There’s a good chance that you share a similar story.

But how does one get to know who their real friends are? Not just among the friends in the online space, but also in their physical world?

I feel there is way to find the answer.
And the answer is in the questions they ask you.

Even if we have been friends with someone for a while, we can spend years not going beyond the same old questions-

‘How are you?’
‘What’s happening?’
‘How’s work?’

You know the list !

But amid the cacophony of the same old peripheral questions, there will be a friend who’s questions will pierce straight through your heart.

He’ll ask questions that compel you to come up with answers you already have, to questions you don’t.

‘What is your dream?’
‘What do you fear?’
‘Are you happy?’
‘Can I help?’

These are simple questions,
and they must be attended to.

These questions can only emanate from the heart of a true friend.

Who is a true friend you’d ask.

In my opinion, a true friend is someone to whom your growth matters just as much as their own.

You can be friends with hundreds of people, but if you want to be a true friend to a chosen few, you must ask these questions to them.

And time and again, in the interest of fostering meaningful growth,
To form a deeper personal bond,
One must ask these questions,
To himself.

So,
As a good friend,
May I ask,

‘What’s your dream?’
‘And what’s holding you back?’

And, coming back to the question,
Who’s a true friend?

The answer is in the questions they ask you.

I hope you find a friend in me,
A friend in you.

On slowing down time

December 11, 2018 / Sreenath Sreenivasan / 0 Comments

‘An unexamined life is not worth living.’
-Socrates

Do you remember the last time you did something consistently, every single day?

No, I am not talking about the usual tasks like waking up, eating and sleeping.
I am talking about doing something that is a mindful choice that when repeated every day steers you towards betterment.

Something that’s physically, intellectually or emotionally challenging. Something that makes you act, and repeat, with a clear goal in mind, every single day?

There’s a good chance that you don’t remember doing something with such disciple and commitment.

Most of us do not have such a focussed outlook.

And as a result, we fail to examine where we stand and sense if we are improving over time.
Time passes all too quickly, without us having derived all that we could from it.

But there is a way to slow down time, and dwell in each day, and squeeze out most of what we can do with it.

I’d like to share a personal experience at this point.

Ever since I started The Power Of Everyday project this month, I’ve seen a marked difference in my experience of the passage of time.

I have promised myself to write a blog post every single day.

A simple, easy to follow rule.

Once I started to do this everyday, the days have slowed down. It feels as if I’ve been writing every single day forever, while it has just been 11 days this month.
Even in a span of less than a fortnight I could sense an ocean of time.

While in the past, there have been times when I’ve not written and published for months yet, I would feel as if it hadn’t been long since I last wrote.
Time passed all too quickly without me having gotten much out of it.

I would definitely prefer an experience where I derive most out of my time. Wouldn’t you?

A mindful and deliberate act of disciplined creation helps one derive the most out of the continuum of time.

And hence helps one lead an examined life.

If you desire to experience this slowing down of time, to feel a sense of direction and discipline, promise yourself to do a simple task, every single day for a week.

It could be the simplest of the tasks.
But the rules have to be simple and well defined.

10 push-ups everyday for a week?
Reading one page everyday?
Or Writing a page in your journal ?

Take your pick as you like.

But try this one out.

A wise man once told me,

‘Time doesn’t move. We move through it. Time just stands still. Eternally.’

Maybe, by trying to do something every single day, mindfully and deliberately,
we can impede our flow through time,
And grow in ways that we absolutely must.

One thing. Every day. One week.

It’s worth a shot.