Thriving Mindfully

Category: compassion (Page 3 of 3)

Beautiful Inside.

On my Bicycle ride from Auroville to Chennai I stopped at a coconut shop I used to frequent years ago. The shop looked a bit run down as compared to how it looked like earlier. I approached the unmanned coconut stand and called out the owner’s name.
‘Saviraj?’ I enquired.
Slowly, an elderly man made his way from his house.
‘Saviraj, do you remember me? I used to come to drink coconuts 5 years ago.’
He nodded smilingly.
In an adorable mix of Tamil and pidgin English he started talking to me.
‘Now enge(where)?’
‘I am cycling from Auroville to Chennai Saviraj’
Meanwhile his wife Sarada came out hearing her husband speak in English.
They both offered me a place to sit. I had a big coconut proffered to me instantly.
They saw my Bicycle loaded up with my luggage and gasped in surprise.
I asked them if I could rest for sometime in the temple across te street.
‘Sleeping here’ said Saviraj pointing to his house.
I laid out my Yoga mat and had a nice nap. In half an hour I awoke to the smell of homemade Dosas. Sarada brought me four thick dosas with the most unique coconut chutney I’ve tasted in my life.

I smiled and accepted the food. It was a delicious feast.
I felt humbled by their spirit of caring. As I was leaving I asked if I could click a Polaroid picture with her.
She blushed and said, ‘Shower no, not look good!’
‘But you’re beautiful. Sooper(Tamil-English slang for remarkable) I said.

Reluctantly she posed and we took a picture.
As the polaroid film developed we waited anxiously. The picture came out great.
‘ Sooper no?’ I asked.
‘Aama(yes)’ she blushed.
I left her with the picture and loaded up my Bicycle to head onward. I was bid goodbye lovingly.

On the way I wondered,
‘She took care of fact that I’d been cycling for 4 hours in the sun and did the best she could to support me. To have such compassion and empathy is the most beautiful asset. It shines through in her eyes. And even if she looked a bit disheveled in the picture because of her household chores, the camera captured the beauty in her spirit.
We often fail to cultivate and realize our own inner beauty. While we are born with the fate of a fixed physical appearance, we also have the opportunity to foster a thriving inner world full of love and compassion. And it is the latter that makes for our true identity.

I hope the picture I left Sarada with keeps reminding her what a caring heart she has. And she realizes the beauty in herself beyond the physical.

Creating space for kindness

I had the pleasure of being visited by two friends over the weekend. We’d met after a long time and it felt great to share our life and energy. Today as they were leaving I asked if I could hitch a ride with them to Chennai. I wanted to visit a sporting equipment shop on the outskirts of the city. Kind as they are, they gladly agreed. We talked all along the two-hour long drive and before we knew it we reached a fork in the road. I wanted to go five kilometres further on the road going to the left. They had to continue to the right to reach the airport. My friends suggested that they could drop me right at the store since they had ample time to make this detour. I wondered it would be easy finding a bus and asked them to continue on to the airport. We bid goodbye and I walked over to the bus stop. However, only after an agonising wait of an hour in the scorching sun did I find a bus.

On a better note, the visit to the store was much fruitful. After shopping, I got onto a bus that headed towards home. I was dropped off at the highway late in the evening. I had to do the walking from the bus stop to home with all the equipment I had bought. I thought of asking for a lift from motorbikes headed towards home but something was holding me back. At last, after letting go five opportunities I lifted my hand and asked for a lift from a biker. He stopped and asked me where I wanted to go. Despite having to drop me a bit further away from where he had to go, he agreed to take me all the way home. That was a kind gesture by an absolute stranger.

As I write now, I wonder why do we hesitate to ask for help? Even in situations when people would gladly help. We just have to do the asking! By not seeking help, we deprive a person to access his kinder self and act with empathy. People like to be of help, even to absolute strangers. While we’re conditioned to believe that people act in a selfish way, there’s a whole other paradigm where people will go out of their way to help. Only when we open up, be vulnerable and seek help do we create a space for people to exhibit compassion.

Even our vulnerability can beget great strength in another human being.
As a lesson for today, I would ask for help whenever in need, in the interest of creating space for kindness.

On realizing a higher self

Today I was going through an old journal. About three years ago on a particular page I had listed down what I what I wanted to be in future. One of my desires was to be a writer. But I didn’t have the understanding about the element of writing consistently. And the desire reeled in inertia for a few years.
However, about an year ago, I realized that the surest way to be a good writer is to write consistently. So, I cultivated the habit of writing every single day no matter what. Even if I failed in the process, I chose to get back to the streak of writing. And before I knew, I was writing better, because I was writing everyday.

I realized that we often set ‘being’ goals for ourselves. I want to be a chef, a gymnast, a banker, an architect…
What helps though is to have the ‘doing’ goals. An aspiring chef should cook mindfully everyday.
A budding writer should write every day and learn from better writers.
A wishful entrepreneur should take initiatives and responsibilities every day.
The consistent act of ‘doing’ something is the surest way to realize all of one’s ‘being’ goals.
And one should never forget that in the end it is all about being remembered as a good human being. Cultivating kindness and compassion in everyday life coupled with consistent practice of one’s craft will surely help one realize his highest possible self.

A fire in the heart

It’s 10pm. I find a faint glint of light in the community kitchen, quite unusual since we finish cooking dinner at 6pm. I walk in to meet my five year old friend trying to light a fire with paper and sticks. He has a little pan with some water and vegetables on the stove.
‘What are you doing ?’ I enquire.
‘I am cooking food!’
‘What is this special dish called?’
‘I don’t know!’he says smilingly.
‘Are you still hungry ?’
‘Yes a little bit’
‘Will you be able to eat with all of this food you’re cooking?’
‘No, but it is for everyone who is hungry. I will share it with everyone.’

It left me wondering how we often limit our capacity to sense the need of help. We make excuses of how we have too little of something to share with others. While this little boy finds an opportunity to be of help. And once you make that decision, to help beyond all odds, nature will find a way to help you.

It’s late in the night. As I watch my friend catching a nap on the kitchen table, I wonder, how a little boy can contain such a big heart!

The titles we earn

Often when people introduce themselves, they have the answer to the next question one might ask to them ready.
‘Hey I am XYZ. ‘
What do you do ?
I am doctor / engineer / psychologist etc.

It got me wondering that all these titles are conferred by an institution when you complete your study.
But, would we able to call ourselves a ‘kind’ doctor, ‘ a compassionate engineer’ , ‘an empathetic psychologist’?
Incidentally, all these titles of kindness, empathy and compassion can only be conferred by the people who we help through our work.

And we can be kind, compassionate and empathetic without any education whatsoever. My grandmother embodies all the above traits and she’s never been to school. These are essential life skills that sadly we do not talk about in our educational institutions.

But the foremost pursuit of any human being should be to understand the sheer importance of cultivating a benevolent heart.

Let us pursue to be kind, compassionate and empathetic first. These are the real titles worth earning.

Always hopeful of a kinder future.

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